lder.)_
FIRST WATCH: Caught in the act. Commit no nuisance.
BLOOM: _(Stammers)_ I am doing good to others.
_(A covey of gulls, storm petrels, rises hungrily from Liffey slime with
Banbury cakes in their beaks.)_
THE GULLS: Kaw kave kankury kake.
BLOOM: The friend of man. Trained by kindness.
_(He points. Bob Doran, toppling from a high barstool, sways over the
munching spaniel.)_
BOB DORAN: Towser. Give us the paw. Give the paw.
_(The bulldog growls, his scruff standing, a gobbet of pig's knuckle
between his molars through which rabid scumspittle dribbles. Bob Doran
fills silently into an area.)_
SECOND WATCH: Prevention of cruelty to animals.
BLOOM: _(Enthusiastically)_ A noble work! I scolded that tramdriver on
Harold's cross bridge for illusing the poor horse with his harness scab.
Bad French I got for my pains. Of course it was frosty and the last
tram. All tales of circus life are highly demoralising.
_(Signor Maffei, passionpale, in liontamer's costume with diamond studs
in his shirtfront, steps forward, holding a circus paperhoop, a
curling carriagewhip and a revolver with which he covers the gorging
boarhound.)_
SIGNOR MAFFEI: _(With a sinister smile)_ Ladies and gentlemen, my
educated greyhound. It was I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my
patent spiked saddle for carnivores. Lash under the belly with a knotted
thong. Block tackle and a strangling pulley will bring your lion to
heel, no matter how fractious, even _Leo ferox_ there, the Libyan
maneater. A redhot crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the burning part
produced Fritz of Amsterdam, the thinking hyena. _(He glares)_ I possess
the Indian sign. The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers.
_(With a bewitching smile)_ I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride
of the ring.
FIRST WATCH: Come. Name and address.
BLOOM: I have forgotten for the moment. Ah, yes! _(He takes off his high
grade hat, saluting)_ Dr Bloom, Leopold, dental surgeon. You have heard
of von Blum Pasha. Umpteen millions. _Donnerwetter!_ Owns half Austria.
Egypt. Cousin.
FIRST WATCH: Proof.
_(A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom's hat.)_
BLOOM: _(In red fez, cadi's dress coat with broad green sash, wearing
a false badge of the Legion of Honour, picks up the card hastily and
offers it)_ Allow me. My club is the Junior Army and Navy. Solicitors:
Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk.
FIRST WATCH: _(Reads)_
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