religion, to be afraid of
a little deeshy grasshopper? Suppose it was a divil, what call
have you to fear it? If I could ketch it, I'd make you take it
home widja in your hat for a penance.

PATSY. Sure, if you won't let it harm me, I'm not afraid, your
riverence. [He gets up, a little reassured. He is a callow,
flaxen polled, smoothfaced, downy chinned lad, fully grown but
not yet fully filled out, with blue eyes and an instinctively
acquired air of helplessness and silliness, indicating, not his
real character, but a cunning developed by his constant dread of
a hostile dominance, which he habitually tries to disarm and
tempt into unmasking by pretending to be a much greater fool than
he really is. Englishmen think him half-witted, which is exactly
what he intends them to think. He is clad in corduroy trousers,
unbuttoned waistcoat, and coarse blue striped shirt].

KEEGAN [admonitorily]. Patsy: what did I tell you about callin me
Father Keegan an your reverence? What did Father Dempsey tell you
about it?

PATSY. Yis, Fadher.

KEEGAN. Father!

PATSY [desperately]. Arra, hwat am I to call you? Fadher Dempsey
sez you're not a priest; n we all know you're not a man; n how do
we know what ud happen to us if we showed any disrespect to you?
N sure they say wanse a priest always a priest.

KEEGAN [sternly]. It's not for the like of you, Patsy, to go
behind the instruction of your parish priest and set yourself up
to judge whether your Church is right or wrong.

PATSY. Sure I know that, sir.

KEEGAN. The Church let me be its priest as long as it thought me
fit for its work. When it took away my papers it meant you to
know that I was only a poor madman, unfit and unworthy to take
charge of the souls of the people.

PATSY. But wasn't it only because you knew more Latn than Father
Dempsey that he was jealous of you?

KEEGAN [scolding him to keep himself from smiling]. How dar you,
Patsy Farrell, put your own wicked little spites and foolishnesses
into the heart of your priest? For two pins I'd tell him what you
just said.

PATSY [coaxing] Sure you wouldn't--

KEEGAN. Wouldn't I? God forgive you! You're little better than a
heathen.

PATSY. Deedn I am, Fadher: it's me bruddher the tinsmith in
Dublin you're thinkin of. Sure he had to be a freethinker when he
larnt a thrade and went to live in the town.

KEEGAN. Well, he'll get to Heaven before you if you're not
careful, Patsy. And now you listen to me, once an