the word conduce, as uttered by the
American captain, as cawndooce, to suggest (very roughly) the American
pronunciation to English readers. Then why not spell the same word,
when uttered by Lady Cicely, as kerndewce, to suggest the English
pronunciation to American readers? To this I have absolutely no defence:
I can only plead that an author who lives in England necessarily loses
his consciousness of the peculiarities of English speech, and sharpens
his consciousness of the points in which American speech differs from
it; so that it is more convenient to leave English peculiarities to be
recorded by American authors. I must, however, most vehemently disclaim
any intention of suggesting that English pronunciation is authoritative
and correct. My own tongue is neither American English nor English
English, but Irish English; so I am as nearly impartial in the matter
as it is in human nature to be. Besides, there is no standard English
pronunciation any more than there is an American one: in England every
county has its catchwords, just as no doubt every state in the Union
has. I cannot believe that the pioneer American, for example, can spare
time to learn that last refinement of modern speech, the exquisite
diphthong, a farfetched combination of the French eu and the English e,
with which a New Yorker pronounces such words as world, bird &c. I have
spent months without success in trying to achieve glibness with it.

To Felix Drinkwater also I owe some apology for implying that all his
vowel pronunciations are unfashionable. They are very far from being so.
As far as my social experience goes (and I have kept very mixed company)
there is no class in English society in which a good deal of Drinkwater
pronunciation does not pass unchallenged save by the expert phonetician.
This is no mere rash and ignorant jibe of my own at the expense of my
English neighbors. Academic authority in the matter of English speech is
represented at present by Mr. Henry Sweet, of the University of Oxford,
whose Elementarbuch des gesprochenen Engliach, translated into his
native language for the use of British islanders as a Primer of Spoken
English, is the most accessible standard work on the subject. In such
words as plum, come, humbug, up, gum, etc., Mr. Sweet's evidence is
conclusive. Ladies and gentlemen in Southern England pronounce them as
plam, kam, hambag, ap, gan, etc., exactly as Felix Drinkwater does. I
could not claim Mr. Sweet's aut