as passing
into manhood in these Tropical seclusions, and higher wants were
awakening in his mind, and years and reflection were adding new insight
and admonition, much in his young way of thought and action lay already
under ban with him, and repentances enough over many things were not
wanting. But here on a sudden had all repentances, as it were, dashed
themselves together into one grand whirlwind of repentance; and his
past life was fallen wholly as into a state of reprobation. A great
remorseful misery had come upon him. Suddenly, as with a sudden
lightning-stroke, it had kindled into conflagration all the ruined
structure of his past life; such ruin had to blaze and flame round
him, in the painfulest manner, till it went out in black ashes. His
democratic philosophies, and mutinous radicalisms, already falling
doomed in his thoughts, had reached their consummation and final
condemnation here. It was all so rash, imprudent, arrogant, all
that; false, or but half true; inapplicable wholly as a rule of noble
conduct;--and it has ended _thus_. Woe on it! Another guidance must be
found in life, or life is impossible!--

It is evident, Sterling's thoughts had already, since the old days of
the "black dragoon," much modified themselves. We perceive that, by mere
increase of experience and length of time, the opposite and much deeper
side of the question, which also has its adamantine basis of truth, was
in turn coming into play; and in fine that a Philosophy of Denial, and
world illuminated merely by the flames of Destruction, could never have
permanently been the resting-place of such a man. Those pilgrimings to
Coleridge, years ago, indicate deeper wants beginning to be felt, and
important ulterior resolutions becoming inevitable for him. If in your
own soul there is any tone of the "Eternal Melodies," you cannot live
forever in those poor outer, transitory grindings and discords; you will
have to struggle inwards and upwards, in search of some diviner home
for yourself!--Coleridge's prophetic moonshine, Torrijos's sad tragedy:
those were important occurrences in Sterling's life. But, on the whole,
there was a big Ocean for him, with impetuous Gulf-streams, and a doomed
voyage in quest of the Atlantis, _before_ either of those arose as
lights on the horizon. As important beacon-lights let us count them
nevertheless;--signal-dates they form to us, at lowest. We may
reckon this Torrijos tragedy the crisis of Sterling's h