My theory of
life shocks you, not because it is uncommon, but because it is not
commonly declared."
They were silent for a while as they went on through the path, and
then Miss Docimer spoke to him in an altered voice. "I must ask you
not to speak to me again as one who by any possibility could have
been your wife."
"Very well. You will not wish me to abandon the privilege of thinking
of past possibilities?"
"I would,--if it were possible."
"Quite impossible! One's thoughts, I imagine, are always supposed to
be one's own."
"You know what I mean. A gentleman will always spare a woman if he
can do so; and there are cases, such as have been ours, in which it
is a most imperative duty to do so. You should not have followed us
when you had made up your mind about this young lady."
"I took care to let you know, beforehand, that I intended it."
"You should not have thrown the weight upon me. You should not even
have written to me."
"I wonder what you would have said then,--how loudly you would have
abused me,--had I not written! Would you not have told me then that
I had not the courage to be open with you?" He paused for an answer,
but she made none. "But I do recognise the necessity of my becoming
subject to abuse in this state of affairs. I have been in no respect
false, nor in any way wanting in affection. When I suggested to you
that L600 a-year between us, with an increasing family, and lodgings
in Marylebone, would be uncomfortable, you shuddered at the prospect.
When I explained to you that you would have the worst of it because
my club would be open to me, you were almost angry with me because I
seemed to imply that there could be any other than one decision."
"There could only be one decision,--unless you were man enough to
earn your bread."
"But I wasn't. But I ain't. You might as well let that accident pass,
sans dire. Was there ever a moment in which you thought that I should
earn my bread?"
"Never for a moment did I endow you with the power of doing anything
so manly."
"Then why throw it in my teeth now? That is not fair. However, I do
own that I have to be abused. I don't see any way in which you and I
are to part without it. But you need not descend to Billingsgate."
"I have not descended to Billingsgate, Mr. Houston."
"Upper-world Billingsgate! Cowardice, as an accusation from a woman
to a man, is upper-world Billingsgate. But it doesn't matter. Of
course I know what it means
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