ing tried it she found she liked
it!" I was able, with God's help, to speak without blind passion or
vulgar violence; but those were the exact words--and far from "sketchy"
they then appeared to me--that I uttered. He had turned away in his
laughter, clapping his hands at my folly, but in an instant he faced
me again, with a change of expression that struck me. "Do you dare to
deny," I asked, "that you habitually see her?"

He had taken the line of indulgence, of meeting me halfway and kindly
humouring me. At all events, to my astonishment, he suddenly said:
"Well, my dear, what if I do?"

"It's your natural right; it belongs to your constitution and to your
wonderful, if not perhaps quite enviable fortune. But you will easily
understand that it separates us. I unconditionally release you."

"Release me?"

"You must choose between me and her."

He looked at me hard. "I see." Then he walked away a little, as if
grasping what I had said and thinking how he had best treat it. At last
he turned upon me afresh. "How on earth do you know such an awfully
private thing?"

"You mean because you've tried so hard to hide it? It _is_ awfully
private, and you may believe I shall never betray you. You've done your
best, you've acted your part, you've behaved, poor dear! loyally and
admirably. Therefore I've watched you in silence, playing my part too;
I've noted every drop in your voice, every absence in your eyes, every
effort in your indifferent hand: I've waited till I was utterly sure and
miserably unhappy. How _can_ you hide it when you're abjectly in love
with her, when you're sick almost to death with the joy of what she
gives you?" I checked his quick protest with a quicker gesture. "You
love her as you've _never_ loved, and, passion for passion, she gives it
straight back! She rules you, she holds you, she has you all! A woman,
in such a case as mine, divines and feels and sees; she's not an
idiot who has to be credibly informed. You come to me mechanically,
compunctiously, with the dregs of your tenderness and the remnant of
your life. I can renounce you, but I can't share you; the best of you is
hers; I know what it is and I freely give you up to her for ever!"

He made a gallant fight, but it couldn't be patched up; he repeated his
denial, he retracted his admission, he ridiculed my charge, of which
I freely granted him moreover the indefensible extravagance. I didn't
pretend for a moment that we were talking of c