se, it's all for the honour of Middlesex that I wish you to
shine. I'm convinced that there's a great deal of wit in that head of
yours; but it's confined, like the kernel in a nut: there's no obtaining
it without breaking the shell. Try him again, Stewart."

"Come, Prose, I'll take your part, and try his own receipt upon himself.
I'll thrash him till he says something witty."

"I do like that, amazingly," replied Jerry. "Why, if I do say a good
thing, you'll never find out. I shall be thrashed to all eternity.
Besides, I'm at too great a distance from you."

"What do you mean?"

"Why, I'm like some cows; I don't give down my milk without the calf is
alongside of me. Now, if you were on this side of the table--"

"Which I am," replied Stewart, as he sprang over it, and seizing Jerry
by the neck--"Now, Mr Jerry, say a good thing directly."

"Well, promise me to understand it. We are just in the reverse
situation of England and Scotland, after the battle of Culloden."

"What do you mean by that, you wretch?" cried Stewart, whose wrath was
kindled by the reference.

"Why, I'm in your clutches, just like Scotland was--a conquered
country."

"You lie, you little blackguard," cried Stewart, pinching Jerry's neck
till he forced his mouth open: "Scotland was never conquered."

"Well, then," continued Jerry, whose bile was up, as soon as Stewart
relaxed his hold; "I'm like King Charles in the hands of the Scotch.
How much was it that you sold him for?"

Jerry's shrivelled carcase sounded like a drum, from the blow which he
received for this second insult to Stewart's idolised native land. As
soon as he could recover his speech, "Well, haven't I been very witty?
Are you content, or will you have some more? or will you try Prose, and
see whether you can draw blood out of a turnip?"

Stewart, who seemed disinclined to have any more elegant extracts from
Jerry, resumed his former seat by Prose, who appeared to be in deep
reflection.

"Well, Prose, are you thinking of your friends in Cheap-side?"

"And suppose I am, Stewart? We have the same feelings in the city that
you have in the heather; and although I do not, like you, pretend to be
allied to former kings, yet one may love one's father and mother,
brothers and sisters, without being able to trace back to one's
great-great-grand-father. I never disputed your high pretensions; why,
then, interfere with my humble claims to the common feelings of
humanity?"