pompous
air.

"Mean to ply?--why, I mean to ply, that there's damned little tea in
this here water; why, I've seen gin as dark a colour as this."

"Steward," said Mr Skrimmage, turning his head over his shoulder
towards him, "have you not put the established allowance into the
tea-pot?"

"Yes, sir," replied the steward; "a tea-spoonful for every gentleman,
and one for coming up."

"You hear, gentlemen," said Mr Skrimmage.

"Hear!--yes, but we don't taste. I should like to see it sarved out,"
continued the master's-mate.

"Sir," replied Mr Skrimmage, "I must take the liberty to observe to
you, that that is a responsibility never intrusted to the steward. The
established allowance is always portioned out by Mrs Skrimmage
herself."

"Damn Mrs Skrimmage," said a voice from the other end of the table.

"What!" cried the indignant husband; "what did I hear? Who was that?"

"'Twas this young gentleman, Mr Caterer," said a malicious lad,
pointing to one opposite.

"Me, sir!" replied the youngster, recollecting the game they had just
been playing; "you lie, sir."

"Who then, sir?"

"Black Cap--Black Cap," pointing to another.

"I damn Mrs Skrimmage! You lie, sir."

"Who then, sir?"

"Red Cap--Red Cap."

"I damn Mrs Skrimmage? You lie, sir."

And thus was the accusation bandied about the table, to the great
amusement of the whole party, except the caterer, who regretted having
taken any notice of what had been said.

"Really, gentlemen, this behaviour is such as cannot be tolerated,"
observed Mr Skrimmage, who invariably preferred the _suaviter in modo_.
"As caterer of this berth--"

"It is your duty to give us something to eat," added one of the
midshipmen.

"Gentlemen, you see what there is on the table; there are rules and
regulations laid down, which cannot be deviated from, and--"

"And those are, to starve us. I've paid six-and-twenty shillings, and
have not had six-and-twenty mouthfuls in the three days that I have been
here. I should like to see your accounts, Mr Caterer."

"Bravo! let's have his accounts," roared out several of the party.

"Gentlemen, my accounts are ready for inspection, and will bear, I will
venture to assert, the most minute investigation; but it must be from
those who have a right to demand it, and I cannot consider that a person
who has only been in the ship for three days has any pretence to examine
them."

"But I have been in the ship three weeks," said an