ntil between five and six
o'clock that I learned we were not going to Cork, when I thought of
writing you to that effect I found I was too late for the post. I
hope still that Dall and I may be able to come to Ardgillan again,
but we cannot leave my father alone here, and his departure for
Liverpool is at present quite uncertain. I have been trying to
reason myself into patience, notwithstanding a very childish
inclination to cry about it, which I think I will indulge because I
shall be able to be so much more reasonable without this stupid
lump in my throat.

I hope I may see you again, dear H----. You are wrong when you say
you cannot be of service to me; I can judge better of the value of
your intercourse to me than you can, and I wish I could have the
advantage of more of it before I plunge back into "toil and
trouble." I have two very opposite feelings about my present
avocation: utter dislike to it and everything, connected with it,
and an upbraiding sense of ingratitude when I reflect how
prosperous and smooth my entrance upon my career has been. I hope,
ere long, to be able to remember habitually what only occasionally
occurs to me now, as a comfort and support, that since it was right
for me to embrace this profession, it is incumbent upon me to
banish all selfish regrets about the surrender of my personal
tastes and feelings, which must be sacrificed to real and useful
results for myself and others. You see, I write as I talk, still
about myself; and I am sometimes afraid that my very desire to
improve keeps me occupied too much about myself and will make a
little moral egotist of me. I am going to bid good-by to Miss W----
this morning; I should like her to like me; I believe I should
value her friendship as I ought. Good friends are like the shrubs
and trees that grow on a steep ascent: while we toil up, and our
eyes are fixed on the summit, we unconsciously grasp and lean upon
them for support and assistance on our way. God bless you, dear
H----. I hope to be with you soon, but cannot say at present how
soon that may be.

F. A. K.

A very delightful short visit to my friend at Ardgillan preceded my
resuming my theatrical work at Liverpool, whence I wrote her the
following letter: