and went, a blissful
girl, to sleep with it under my pillow.

BUCKINGHAM GATE, JAMES STREET, December 14th.
DEAREST ----,

I received your letter this morning, before I was out of my room,
and very glad I was to get it. You would have heard from me again
ere this, had it not been that, in your present anxious state of
mind respecting your brother, I did not like to demand your
attention for my proceedings. My trial is over, and, thank heaven!
most fortunately. Our most sanguine wishes could hardly have gone
beyond the result, and at the same time that I hail my success as a
source of great happiness to my dear father and mother, I almost
venture to hope that the interest which has been excited in the
public may tend to revive once more the decaying dramatic art. You
say it is a very fascinating occupation; perhaps it is, though it
does not appear to me so, and I think it carries with it drawbacks
enough to operate as an antidote to the vanity and love of
admiration which it can hardly fail to foster. The mere embodying
of the exquisite ideals of poetry is a great enjoyment, but after
that, or rather _for_ that, comes in ours, as in all arts, the
mechanical process, the labor, the refining, the controlling the
very feeling one has, in order to manifest it in the best way to
the perception of others; and when all, that intense feeling and
careful work can accomplish, is done, an actor must often see those
points of his performance which are most worthy of approbation
overlooked, and others, perhaps crude in taste or less true in
feeling, commended; which must tend much, I think, to sober the
mind as to the value of applause. Above all, the constant
consciousness of the immeasurable distance between a fine
conception and the best execution of it, must in acting, as in all
art, be a powerful check to vanity and self-satisfaction.

As to the mere excitement proceeding from the public applause of a
theater, I am sure you will believe me when I say I do not think I
shall ever experience it. But should I reckon too much upon my own
steadiness, I have the incessant care and watchfulness of my dear
mother to rely on, and I do rely on it as an invaluable safeguard,
both to the purity and good taste of all that I may do on the
stage