fully and
conscientiously applied to my work; the permanent element which
preserves the artist, however inevitably he must feel the influence of
moods of mind and body, from ever being at their mercy.

I brought but one half the necessary material to the exercise of my
profession, that which nature gave me; and never added the cultivation
and labor requisite to produce any fine performance in the right sense
of the word; and, coming of a family of _real_ artists, have never felt
that I deserved that honorable name.

A letter written at this time to Miss S---- shows how comparatively
small a part my approaching ordeal engrossed my thoughts.

JAMES STREET, September 24, 1829,
MY DEAREST H----,

Your letter grieved me very much, but it did not surprise me; of
your brother's serious illness I had heard from my cousin, Horace
Twiss. But is there indeed cause for the terrible anxiety you
express? I know how impossible it is to argue with the
apprehensions of affection, and should have forborne this letter
altogether, but that I felt very deeply your kindness in writing to
me at such a time, and that I would fain assure you of my
heart-felt sympathy, however unavailing it may be. To you who have
a steadfast anchor for your hopes, I ought not, perhaps, to say,
"Do not despond." Yet, dearest H----, do not despond: is there
_any_ occasion when despair is justified? I know how lightly all
soothing counsel must be held, in a case of such sorrow as yours,
but among fellow-Christians such words still have some
significance; for the most unworthy of that holy profession may
point unfalteringly to the only consolations adequate to the need
of those far above them in every endowment of mind and heart and
religious attainment. Dear H----, I hardly know how to tell you how
much I feel for you, how sincerely I hope your fears may prove
groundless, and how earnestly I pray that, should they prove
prophetic, you may be enabled to bear the affliction, to meet which
I doubt not strength will be given you. This is all I dare say;
those who love you best will hardly venture to say more. To put
away entirely the idea of an evil which one may be called upon at
any moment to encounter would hardly be wise, even if it were
possible, in this world where every happiness one enjoys is