from following his true and conscientious convictions. One must
recognise that the sunshine and the rain of God fall in different ways
and at different times upon those who desire to find Him. I do not
wholly understand in my mind how Hugh came to make the change, but
Carlyle speaks truly when he says that there is one moral and spiritual
law for all, which is that whatever is honestly incredible to a man that
he may only at his direst peril profess or pretend to believe. And I
understand in my heart that Hugh had hitherto felt like one out on the
hillside, with wind and mist about him, and with whispers and voices
calling out of the mist; and that here he found a fold and a comradeship
such as he desired to find, and was never in any doubt again. And I am
sure that he soon began to feel the tranquillity which comes from having
taken, after much restlessness and anxiety, a hard course and made a
painful choice.

At first, however, he was deeply conscious of the strain through which
he had passed. He wrote to me in answer to the letter mentioned above:

_Sept. 23_, '03.

... Thank you so very much for your letter. It was delightful to
get it. I can't tell you what happiness it has been through
everything to know that you, as well as the others, felt as you
did: and now your letter comes to confirm it.

There is surprisingly little to say about myself; since you ask--

I have nothing more than the deepest possible conviction--no
emotionalism or sense of relief or anything of the kind.

As regards my plans--they too are tolerably vague.... All the
first week I was with the Dominicans--who, I imagine, will be my
final destination after two or three years.

... I imagine that I shall begin to read Theology again, in view
of future Ordination: and either I shall go to Rome at the
beginning of November; or possibly to Prior Park, near Bath--a
school, where I shall teach an hour a day, and read Theology.

* * * * *

Mamma and I are meeting in London next week. She really has been
good to me beyond all words. Her patience and kindness have been
unimaginable.

Well--this is a dreary and egotistical letter. But you asked me to
write about myself.

* * * * *

Well--I must thank you again f