But there stood up this
conviction ever facing him, ever beckoning him on, as though a messenger
from an unseen world. Not that he was ignorant of nor underrated the
magnitude of the obstacles in his way. He knew and felt most
oppressively that everything almost was against him. The very thought
of speaking to his father on the subject made a chill shudder creep over
him. To move a single step in the direction of the attainment of his
object required an effort from which his retiring nature shrank as if
stung by a spark of white heat. The opposition, direct or indirect, of
those nearest to him was terrible even to contemplate, and was magnified
while yet at a distance through the haze of his morbid sensitiveness.
Yet his conviction and purpose remained unshaken. He was, moreover,
fully aware that neither mother nor sister had any deep affection for
him, and that, should he gain the end he had set before him, he might
get no nearer to their hearts than the place he now occupied. It
mattered not; he had devoted himself to his great object as to a work of
holy self-denial and labour of love, and from the pursuit of that object
nothing should move him, but onward he would struggle towards its
attainment, with the steady determination which would crush through
hindrances and obstacles by the weight of its tremendous earnestness.

This purpose had hovered before his thoughts in dim outline while he was
yet a boy, and had at length assumed its full and clear proportions
while he was at Oxford. There it was that he became acquainted with a
Christian young man who, pitying his loneliness and appreciating his
character, had sought and by degrees obtained his friendship, and, in a
measure, his confidence, as far as he was able to give it. To his
surprise Amos discovered that his new friend's father was the physician
under whose charge and in whose house his own mother, Mrs Huntingdon,
had been placed. Mr Huntingdon had kept the matter a profound secret
from his own children, and no member of his household ever ventured to
allude to the poor lady or to her place of retirement, and it was only
by an inadvertence on his young friend's part that Amos became aware of
his mother's present abode. But this knowledge, after the first
excitement of surprise had passed away, only strengthened the purpose
which had gradually taken its settled hold upon his heart. It was to
him a new and important link in the chain of events which