necessary to
regulate them. They are in our hands like the poison in a pharmacy;
compounded by a skillful chemist they become beneficent remedies.

VII

Women Expect a Quid Pro Quo From Men

Oh, who doubts, Marquis, that it may be only by essential qualities
that you can succeed in pleasing women? It is simply a question of
knowing what meaning you attach to this expression. Do you call
essential qualities, worth, firmness of character, precision of
judgment, extent of learning, prudence, discretion, how can I tell the
number of virtues which often embarrass you more than they make you
happy? Our minds are not in accord upon this matter. Reserve all the
qualities I have specified for the intercourse you are obliged to have
with men, they are quite proper under such circumstances. But when it
comes to gallantry, you will have to change all such virtues for an
equal number of charming traits; those that captivate, it is the only
coin that passes current in this country; it is the only merit, and
you must be on your guard against calling it spurious money. It may be
that true merit consists less in real perfection than in that which
the world requires. It is far more advantageous to possess the
qualities agreeable to those whom we desire to please, than to have
those we believe to be estimable. In a word, we must imitate the
morals and even the caprices of those with whom we associate, if we
expect to live in peace with them.

What is the destiny of women? What is their role on earth? It is to
please. Now, a charming figure, personal graces, in a word, all the
amiable and brilliant qualities are the only means of succeeding in
that role. Women possess them to a superlative degree, and it is in
these qualities that they wish men to resemble them. It will be vain
for you to accuse them of frivolity, for they are playing the beauty
role, since they are destined to make you happy. Is it not, indeed,
due to the charm of our companionship, to the gentleness of our
manners, that you owe your most satisfying pleasures, your social
virtues, in fact, your whole happiness? Have some good faith in this
matter. Is it possible for the sciences of themselves, the love of
glory, valor, nay, even that friendship of which you boast so much, to
make you perfectly happy? The pleasure you draw from any of them, can
it be keen enough to make you feel happy? Certainly not. None of them
have the power to relieve you from a wearisome