ore cheerful view o' life, and told
me about a chap that spent three weeks in the London 'Orsepittle for
calling 'im a liar.

"'Treat me fair,' he ses, 'and I'll treat other people fair. I never
broke my word without a good reason for it, and that's more than
everybody can say. If I told you the praise I've 'ad from some people
you wouldn't believe it.'

"I let 'im go on till he 'ad talked 'imself into a good temper, and then I
told 'im of the little job I 'ad got for 'im. He listened quiet till I
'ad finished, and then he shook 'is 'ead.

"'It ain't in my line,' he ses.

"'There's 'arf a quid 'anging to it,' I ses.

"'Arry shook his 'ead agin. 'Tain't enough, mate,' he ses. 'If you was
to make it a quid I won't say as I mightn't think of it.'

"I 'ad told the skipper that it might cost 'im a quid, so I knew 'ow far
I could go; and at last, arter 'Arry 'ad got as far as the door three
times, I gave way.

"'And I'll 'ave it now,' he ses, 'to prevent mistakes.'

"'No, 'Arry,' I ses, very firm. 'Besides, it ain't my money, you see.'

"'You mean to say you don't trust me,' 'e ses, firing up.

"'I'd trust you with untold gold,' I ses, 'but not with a real quid;
you're too fond of a joke, 'Arry.'

"We 'ad another long argyment about it, and I had to tell 'im plain at
last that when I wanted to smell 'is fist, I'd say so.

"'You turn up at the wharf at five minutes to seven,' I ses, 'and I'll
give you ten bob of it; arter you've done your business I'll give you the
other. Come along quiet, and you'll see me waiting at the gate for you.'

"He gave way arter a time, and, fust going 'ome for a cup o' tea, I went
on to the wharf to tell the skipper 'ow things stood.

"'It couldn't 'ave 'appened better,' he ses. 'Uncle Dick is sure to be
aboard at that time, 'cos 'e's going acrost the water at eight o'clock to
pay 'er a visit. And all the hands'll be away. I've made sure of that.'

"He gave me the money for Artful 'Arry in two 'arf-suverins, and then we
went over to the 'Albion' for a quiet glass and a pipe, and to wait for
seven o'clock.

"I left 'im there at ten minutes to, and at five minutes to, punctual to
the minute, I see 'Arry coming along swinging a thick stick with a knob
on the end of it.

"'Where's the 'arf thick-un?' he ses, looking round to see that the coast
was clear.

"I gave it to 'im, and arter biting it in three places and saying it was
a bit short in weight he dropped it in 'is w