elf sadly deceived.
Perhaps we have been ambitious--we confess this humbly before the face
of all men--passionately and immoderately ambitious to attain to the
dignity of sovereign pontiff, and to reach this end we have followed
every path that is open to human industry; but we have acted thus,
vowing an inward vow that when once we had reached our goal, we would
follow no other path but that which conduces best to the service of God
and to the advancement of the Holy See, so that the glorious memory of
the deeds that we shall do may efface the shameful recollection of the
deeds we have already done. Thus shall we, let us hope, leave to those
who follow us a track where upon if they find not the footsteps of a
saint, they may at least tread in the path of a true pontiff. God, who
has furthered the means, claims at our hands the fruits, and we desire
to discharge to the full this mighty debt that we have incurred to Him;
and accordingly we refuse to arouse by any deceit the stern rigour of
His judgments. One sole hindrance could have power to shake our good
intentions, and that might happen should we feel too keen an interest in
your fortunes. Therefore are we armed beforehand against our love, and
therefore have we prayed to God beforehand that we stumble not because
of you; for in the path of favouritism a pope cannot slip without a
fall, and cannot fall without injury and dishonour to the Holy See. Even
to the end of our life we shall deplore the faults which have brought
this experience home to us; and may it please Gad that our uncle
Calixtus of blessed memory bear not this day in purgatory the burden
of our sins, more heavy, alas, than his own! Ah, he was rich in every
virtue, he was full of good intentions; but he loved too much his own
people, and among them he loved me chief. And so he suffered this love
to lead him blindly astray, all this love that he bore to his kindred,
who to him were too truly flesh of his flesh, so that he heaped upon
the heads of a few persons only, and those perhaps the least worthy,
benefits which would more fittingly have rewarded the deserts of many.
In truth, he bestowed upon our house treasures that should never have
been amassed at the expense of the poor, or else should have been turned
to a better purpose. He severed from the ecclesiastical State, already
weak and poor, the duchy of Spoleto and other wealthy properties,
that he might make them fiefs to us; he confided to our weak