_Mr. Punch_ sprang up.

"This is your work!" he exclaimed. "Don't say it is not, WILLIAM DARGAN,
because I know it is, and because England knows it too, and holds your
name in honour accordingly."

That day's proceedings are not reported further. But all _Mr. Punch's_
friends who wish to please him will have the goodness to run over to
Dublin, and see the finest sight which will be seen between this and the
First of May next.

* * * * *

A NEW TURN IN THE TEMPERANCE MOVEMENT.

A real, genuine, out-and-out Teetotaller says he likes this
Table-turning vastly; for, though it keeps folks to the table, still it
keeps them from the bottle. "The table may go round," he says, "but the
wine does not circulate." There may be more in this teetotaller's
chuckle than wine-bibbers imagine. We ourselves have heard an instance
of a wealthy City man, who is nearly as mean as the MARQUIS OF
NORTHMINSTER, who spares his Port regularly, by proposing to his
company, as soon as the cloth is removed, that "they should try a little
of this table-moving that is so much talked about." The decanters are
removed, and he keeps his company with their fingers fixed upon the
mahogany, until Coffee is announced. We warn all persons who are in the
habit of dining out, against lending their hands to this favourite
trick.

* * * * *

"PROVIDED ALWAYS."

Though, perhaps, not strictly within our province to attend to the
Commissariat of any but ourselves, we beg leave to announce that we have
undertaken to supply the whole of the Camp at Chobham with chaff.

* * * * *

THE AUTHOR OF SCOTCH BEER.--We lately read an advertisement of a book
entitled _The Scottish Ale-Brewer_. The author's name is ROBERTS; but it
ought to have been MAC ENTIRE.

* * * * *

CRYSTAL NUNNERIES.

Ye reverend Fathers, why make such objection,
Why raise such a cry against Convents' Inspection?
Is it not just the thing to confound the deceivers,
And confute all the slanders of vile unbelievers?

It strikes me that people in your situation
Should welcome, invite, and court investigation,
As much as to say, "Come and see if you doubt us;
We defy you to find any evil about us."

For my part I think, if I held your persuasion,
That I should desire to improve the occasion,
And should catch at the chance, opportunely afforded