are always humdrum, but
we are never commercial, for the reason that we have not the tools."

"Aye," said he, "you must be a great people. Strangely enough, you are
the first Irishman I have ever seen, although I have seen many
blackamoors. However, I am edified to find you a gentleman of great
learning and experience. In this humdrum commercial age--"

"Let go," said I. "I can do very well without your opinion as to my
learning and experience. In regard to this being a humdrum commercial
age you will find that all ages say the same thing of themselves. I am
more interested in the winning of Lady Mary."

"'Twas to that subject I was just about to turn the talk," said the
Doctor. "I need not express again to you the interest I feel; and if
it is true, as you say, that Lady Mary really loves you--"

"May the devil fly away with you," I cried in a great rage. "Are you
never to have done? You are an old frog. I asked you to help me, and
you do nothing but dispirit me with these doubts. I'll not put up with
it."

"I am very sorry to displease you, sir," answered my friend. "If you
examine my intentions with a dispassionate eye, sir, I am convinced
you will have found nothing in me which should properly cause these
outbursts of disapprobation. When I say, 'If Lady Mary really loves
you,' I am referring to the strange mishaps and misconstructions which
attend human thought at all times, and when I say--"

"Let go again," I cried. "When I misunderstand you, don't enlighten
me; for I find these explanations very hard to bear."

To my surprise the little man answered with great spirit: "I am unable
to gain any approval for my deep interest in your affairs, sir," he
cried. "Perchance, it would be better if I could affect a profound
indifference. I am certainly at a loss for words when each sentence of
mine is made the subject of wrathful objection."

"You are right," said I. "But you will understand how ten thousand
emotions beset and haggle a lover, and I believe he always revenges
himself upon his dearest friends. Forgive me!"

"With all my heart!" answered the little Doctor. "I am aware, sir,
that at the present time you are in many ways like a highly-tightened
fiddle, which any breeze frets into murmurings. Now, being absolutely
certain of the devotion of your beloved, you naturally--"

"By the ten lame pipers of Ballydehob," I shouted, "let go of that
talk. I can't be having it. I warn ye. 'Tis either a grave for