would
have you leave off your prate of your friend the Earl of Westport, for
I understand full well you couldn't distinguish between him and a
church door, although 'tis scandalously little you know of church
doors. So we will stop there on that point. Then I will go on to the
next point. The next point is that I am going to marry Lady Mary
Strepp."

The little Doctor had been choking and stuttering in a great spasm,
but my last point bid fair to flatten him out on the floor. I took the
overpowered philosopher and led or carried him to another drink.

"Stap me!" he cried again and again. "The man is mad!"

I surveyed him with a bland smile.

"Let it sink into you," said I soothingly. "Don't snarl and wrangle at
it. It is all heaven's truth, and in time you will come to your senses
and see what I am telling you."

Well, as soon as he had fully recovered his wind, he fell upon me with
thousands of questions; for one may see that he would have plenty of
interest in the matter as soon as he was assured that there was much
veracity involved in one way or another in my early statement. His
questions I answered as it pleased me, but I made clear enough to him
that, although Lady Mary was well disposed toward me, neither her
father nor her mother would even so much as look at me if I applied
for a position as under-footman, I was that low in their estimate.

"However," said I, "I can rearrange all that very easily. And now, my
bucko, here is where your fortune meets mine. You are fitted by nature
more to attend other people's affairs than to take a strict interest
in your own. All kinds of meddling and interference come easily to
you. Well, then, here is a chance to exercise your gifts
inoffensively, and yet in a way which may make two people happy for
life. I will tell you now that I don't even know where is the Earl's
town house. There is where your importance appears at once. You must
show me the house. That is the first thing. After that we will arrange
all the details about ladders and garden walls, and, mayhap, carrier
doves. As for your reward, it will appear finally in the shape of a
bowing recognition by people of fashion, which is what you most
desire in the world, you funny little man."

Again I had stunned him. For a time I could see his brain swimming in
a perfect sea of bewilderment. But, as before, sense gradually came to
him, and he again volleyed questions at me. But what stuck in his crop
was the tho