arishioners has
been on the subject of dogs.'--'How so?' said Lord Spencer.--'Why, when
I first went down into Yorkshire, there had not been a resident
clergyman in my parish for a hundred and fifty years. Each farmer kept a
huge mastiff dog ranging at large, and ready to make his morning meal on
clergy or laity, as best suited his particular taste. I never could
approach a cottage in pursuit of my calling but I rushed into the jaws
of one of these shaggy monsters. I scolded, preached, and prayed without
avail; so I determined to try what fear for their pockets might do.
Forthwith appeared in the county papers a minute account of the trial of
a farmer, at the Northampton Sessions, for keeping dogs unconfined;
where said farmer was not only fined five pounds and reprimanded by the
magistrates, but sentenced to three months' imprisonment. The effect was
wonderful, and the reign of Cerberus ceased in the land.'--'That
accounts,' said Lord Spencer, 'for what has puzzled me and Althorp for
many years. We never failed to attend the sessions at Northampton, and
we never could find out how we had missed this remarkable dog case.'"

SYDNEY SMITH ON DOGS.[97]

"No, I don't like dogs; I always expect them to go mad. A lady asked me
once for a motto for her dog Spot. I proposed, 'Out, damned Spot!' But
she did not think it sentimental enough. You remember the story of the
French marquise, who, when her pet lap-dog bit a piece out of her
footman's leg, exclaimed, 'Ah, poor little beast! I hope it won't make
him sick.' I called one day on Mrs ----, and her lap-dog flew at my leg
and bit it. After pitying her dog, like the French marquise, she did all
she could to comfort me by assuring me the dog was a Dissenter, and
hated the Church, and was brought up in a Tory family. But whether the
bite came from madness or Dissent, I knew myself too well to neglect it,
and went on the instant to a surgeon, and had it cut out, making a mem.
on the way to enter that house no more."

SYDNEY SMITH'S "NEWFOUNDLAND DOG THAT BREAKFASTED ON PARISH BOYS."

The Rev. Sydney Smith used to be much amused when he observed the utter
want of perception of a joke in some minds. One instance we may cite
from his "Memoirs:"[98] "Miss ----, the other day, walking round the
grounds at Combe Florey, exclaimed, 'Oh, why do you chain up that fine
Newfoundland dog, Mr Smith?'--'Because it has a passion for breakfasting
on parish boys.'--'Parish boys!' she exclai