roll up, sally up!
Take a tupp'ny ticket out, and help to tote the tally up!
Come and see the Raggers in their "Mud and Slush" revoo.
(Haven't got no money? Well, a cigarette'll do).
Come and hear O'Leary in his great tin-whistle stunt;
See our beauty chorus with the Sergeant in the front;
Come and hear our gaggers
In their "Lonely Tommy" song;
Come and see the Raggers,
We're the bongest of the bong.

Roll up, rally up!
Stroll up, sally up!
Show is just commencing and we've got to ring the ballet up.
Hear our swell orchestra keeping all the fun alive,
Tooting on his whistle while they dance the Dug-out Dive.
Come and see Spud Murphy with his double-ration smile,
('Tisn't much for beauty, but it's PHYLLIS DARE for style);
Come and see our _scena_,
"How the section got C.B.;"
Bring a concertina
And we'll let you come in free.

Roll up, rally up!
Stroll up, sally up!
First and last performance. If you want to see it, _allez_ up!
Come and sit where "Archibalds" won't get you in the neck
(If it's getting sultry you can take a pass-out check).
Come and hear the Corporal recite his only joke;
See the leading lady slipping out to have a smoke;
Sappers, cooks, flag-waggers,
Dhooly-wallahs too;
Come and hear the Raggers
In their "Mud and Slush" revoo.

* * * * *

Commercial Candour.

"The perfume _par excellence_ ... unapproached and
unapproachable." _Advt. in Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

"GERMAN FOOD CRISIS.
ATTEMPT TO CONGEAL THE TRUTH AS TO SHORTAGE."--_Buenos Ayres
Standard._

The Huns are so economical that they put even Truth into cold storage.

* * * * *

"Cheery messages come through from General Townshend. He is
sewing vegetable seeds and has asked for gramophone needles."
_Lloyd's Weekly News._

The ordinary kind being unsuited for such delicate stitchery.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Tuesday, February_ 29th.--Mr. LLOYD GEORGE announced to-day that the
Members of the Cabinet had decided to take one-fourth of their salaries
in Exchequer Bonds. Murmurs of applause followed, and before they had
died away Mr. HOGGE launched his great joke. Leading up to it with the
remark that Exchequer Bonds can be sold the next day, he ask