I found myself "between two fires." But the brave boys in my rear
could see me, and I don't believe I was in any danger from their
muskets, yet I felt less "out of place" when I had passed around
the flank of a company and stood in rear of the line. I there
witnessed, for the only time in my experience, one of those remarkable
instances of a man too brave to think of running away, and yet too
much frightened to be able to fight. He was loading his musket
and firing in the air with great rapidity. When I took hold of
his arm and shook him, calling his attention to what he was doing,
he seemed as if aroused from a trance, entirely unconscious of what
had happened.

This circumstance recalls the familiar story of two comrades in
the ranks, the one apparently unmoved, the other pale and trembling.
The first said: "Why, you seem to be scared!" "Yes," replied the
other; "if you were half as scared as I am, you would run away!"

A few minutes later I went toward the right to rejoin my chief,
and found his lifeless body a few feet in rear of the line, in
charge of his faithful orderly, Lehman, who was mourning bitterly
and loudly the death of the great soldier whom he adored. At that
supremely critical moment--for the fight was then raging with great
fury--my only thought was the apprehension that the troops might
be injuriously affected if they learned of the death of the commander
who had so soon won their profound respect and confidence. I chided
poor Lehman for his outcry, and ordered that the body be taken
quietly to the rear, and that no one be told of the general's death.

Thus fell one of our bravest and truest soldiers and patriots, a
man who had no fear of death, but who could not endure defeat.
Upon Lyon's fall, Major Sturgis became the senior officer of military
education and experience present. Several of the senior volunteer
officers had been wounded and carried from the field. Who was the
actual senior in rank on the ground was not easy to ascertain in
the midst of a fierce engagement. It was no time to make experiments
with untried military genius.

I captured a "secesh" horse found running loose,--for my own horse
had been killed and I had been afoot quite a long time,--mounted
him, and as son as the state of the contest would permit, I rode
to Major Sturgis, informed him of Lyon's death, and told him he
must assume the command, which he accordingly did. It afterward
appeared that there was on