rly directed, might have made him a German philosopher, an
antiquary, or a profound theologian; or, if devoted to his law studies,
would have fitted him for Chief-Justice of the United States.

The countryman who mistook for a bell-rope the cord attached to a
shower-bath, was not more astonished at the result of pulling it, than
she was at the result of this trifling accident. Such an overwhelming
torrent of abuse as was poured on her devoted head; such an array of
offenses as was marshaled before her; Banquo's issue wasn't a
circumstance to the shadowy throng. She had recourse to woman's only
means of assuaging the angry passions of man--tears, (you know the
region of constant precipitation is a perpetual calm;) but these,
instead of operating like oil poured on the troubled waters, were rather
like oil thrown on the fire. Pleading her delicate health, she hinted
that his unkindness would kill her, and that, when she was gone, her
sweet face would haunt him. Muttering something about one consolation,
ghosts couldn't speak till spoken to, and he was sure he wouldn't break
the spell of silence, he picked up his hat and strode out of the house,
slamming the door after him. For a while, Mrs. Jones was struck with
consternation; she felt somewhat as the woman must have felt who, in
attempting to pull up a weed, overturned the monument that crushed her;
and, though not quite crushed by the weight of Mr. Jones's indignation,
she only resolved to give no more tugs at the weed that had taken such
deep root in his heart; and that, if he brought home another meerschaum,
(which he did that evening,) it was best to ignore its existence. Mrs.
Jones says she believes that the meerschaum absorbs 'the disagreeable'
of a man's temper, as it is said to absorb that of tobacco; at least,
her husband is never so serene as when smoking one. Indeed, it is said
that the fiercest birds of prey can be tamed by tobacco-smoke.

Don't think that after this little _contretemps_ all Mrs. Jones's
authority was at an end; no, indeed; though she had, by stroking the
wrong way the docile, domestic animal, roused him into a tiger, she
hastened to smooth him down; and time would fail me to give even a list
of her reforms.

After having heard her story, as I did, chiefly from her own lips, my
wonder at the immense Union army, raised on such short notice, was
considerably diminished. 'Extremes meet.' Probably Union and disunion
sentiments met in the mind o