But, Vanslyperken, recollect there's nothing I would not do
for you; but if it were found out--O dear! O dear!"

The widow then informed him that she would prepare a red-herring with
arsenic, which he should take on board, and order Smallbones to grill
for his breakfast; that he was to pretend not to be well, and to allow
it to be taken away by the lad, who would, of course, eat it
fast enough.

"Excellent!" replied Vanslyperken, who felt not only that he should get
rid of Smallbones, but have the widow in his power. "Dearest widow, how
can I be sufficiently grateful? Oh! how kind, how amiable you are!"
continued Vanslyperken, mumbling her fat fingers, which the widow
abandoned to him without reserve.

Who would have believed that, between these two, there existed a deadly
hatred? We might imagine such a thing to take place in the refinement
and artificial air of a court, but not in a Dutch Lust Haus at
Amsterdam. That evening, before his departure, did the widow present her
swain with the fatal herring; and the swain received it with as many
marks of gratitude and respect, as some knight in ancient times would
have shown when presented with some magical gift by his
favouring genius.

The red-herring itself was but a red-herring, but the charm consisted in
the two-pennyworth of arsenic.

The next morning Vanslyperken did not fail to order the red-herring for
his breakfast, but took good care not to eat it.

Smallbones, who had been duly apprised of the whole plan, asked his
master, as he cleared away, whether he should keep the red-herring for
the next day; but Mr Vanslyperken very graciously informed him that he
might eat it himself. About an hour afterwards Mr Vanslyperken went on
shore, taking with him, for the first time, Snarleyyow, and desiring
Smallbones to come with him, with a bag of biscuit for the widow. This
plan had been proposed by the widow, as Smallbones might be supposed to
have eaten something on shore. Smallbones took as good care as his
master not to eat the herring, but put it in his pocket as a _bonne
bouche_ for Snarleyyow. Mr Vanslyperken, as they pulled on shore,
thought that the lad smelt very strong of herring, and this satisfied
him that he had eaten it; but to make more sure, he exclaimed, "Confound
it, how you smell of red-herring!"

"That's all along of having eaten one, sir," replied Smallbones,
grinning.

"You'll grin in another way before an hour is over," thought his master.