ir shirt-sleeves, beer tankards before them on the great open
table, Dutch clay pipes in their mouths, they entertain each other in
the most unrestrained manner in spite of the exalted position held by
most of these men. Some who do not smoke hold cold pipes between their
teeth, that they may not mar the harmony of the picture. One member of
the circle is singled out nightly as an object for mirth, and the choice
is made by lot. Each and every one can in turn become the butt of merry
satire. To have been present at a meeting of this oddest of all court
gatherings would furnish me with the most notable memory I could carry
away from Berlin.

KING.

Egad, Grumbkow! I believe he means our Smoker.

HOTHAM.

The world-renowned Prussian "tobacco-conference."

KING.

And you have--the gentleman has--no. [_He rises_.] I shan't use the
customary procedure any more. Baronet Hotham, you have heard of my
Smokers? You have said nice things about them. That reconciles me--can
you smoke?

HOTHAM.

Yes, Your Majesty, the light Dutch Varinas, at least.

KING.

I have that--and the Porto-Rican and Hungarian tobaccos as well. In
fact, I'm having quite a good sort grown here in the Mark Brandenberg
now.

HOTHAM.

I fear I should have to decline trying that.

KING.

Give me your hand, Baronet. Come to our conference tonight. We will wash
down our diplomatic disagreement with a good drink of beer, and blue
clouds of smoke from our pipes shall waft away all the intrigues, plots
and counter-plots.

GRUMBKOW.

But--Your Majesty, who is to furnish the source of amusement tonight?

HOTHAM.

Will Your Majesty take me as the scapegoat?

KING.

Oho, Baronet! it will be a hot skirmish. He who has been under fire from
a dozen such old soldiers needs a week or two to recover from the
experience.

HOTHAM (_aside_).

A pleasing fate indeed, to play the fox to such hounds!

KING.

We'll find some one to be the central figure this evening. You must be
among the laughers, and then you can tell us something of the
cock-fights and the boxing-bouts in England. That sort of amusement
pleases me mightily, and I would permit it to come into this country
without excise or other duty. Very well, then, the Smoker is at eight
o'clock. Your pardon for this queer audience of dismissal. Bring a brave
thirst with you. For in the matter of drinking we pay no attention to
the customary procedure.

[_He goes out, followed by all except