NDSHIP; BUT WITH THOSE WHO ARE NOT, THEY
BOTH DECREASE. That conjunction of minds increases with those who are in
love truly conjugial, was proved in the chapter ON THE CONJUNCTION OF
SOULS AND MINDS BY MARRIAGE, WHICH IS MEANT BY THE LORD'S WORDS, THAT
THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE FLESH, see n. 156*-191. But that
conjunction increases as friendship unites with love; because friendship
is as it were the face and also the raiment of that love; for it not
only joins itself to love as raiment, but also conjoins itself thereto
as a face. Love preceding friendship is like the love of the sex, which,
after the marriage vow, takes its leave and departs; whereas love
conjoined to friendship after the marriage vow, remains and is
strengthened; it likewise outers more interiorly into the breast,
friendship introducing it, and making it truly conjugial. In this case
the love makes its friendship also conjugial, which differs greatly from
the friendship of every other love; for it is full. That the case is
reversed with those who are not principled in conjugial love, is well
known. With these, the first friendship, which was insinuated during the
time of courtship, and afterwards during the period immediately
succeeding marriage, recedes more and more from the interiors of the
mind, and thence successively at length retires to the cuticles; and
with those who think of separation it entirely departs; but with those
who do not think of separation, love remains in the externals, yet it is
cold in the internals.

215. V. THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, CONTINUALLY DESIRE TO BE
ONE MAN, BUT THOSE WHO ARE NOT IN CONJUGIAL LOVE, DESIRE TO BE TWO.
Conjugial love essentially consists in the desire of two to become one;
that is, in their desire that two lives may become one life. This desire
is the perpetual _conatus_ of that love, from which flow all its
effects. That _conatus_ is the very essence of motion, and that desire
is the living _conatus_ appertaining to man, is confirmed by the
researches of philosophers, and is also evident to such as take a view
of the subject from refined reason. Hence it follows, that those who are
in love truly conjugial, continually endeavour, that is, desire to be
one man. That the contrary is the case with those who are not in
conjugial love, they themselves very well know; for as they continually
think themselves two from the disunion of their souls and minds, so they
do not comprehend what is me