I pressed not this matter farther just then.

But patterns I actually produced; and a jeweller was to bring as this day
several sets of jewels for her choice. But the patterns she would not
open. She sighed at the mention of them: the second patterns, she said,
that had been offered to her:* and very peremptorily forbid the
jeweller's coming; as well as declined my offer of causing my mother's to
be new-set, at least for the present.

* See Vol. I. Letter XLI.

I do assure thee, Belford, I was in earnest in all this. My whole estate
is nothing to me, put in competition with her hoped-for favour.

She then told me, that she had put into writing her opinion of my general
proposals; and there had expressed her mind as to clothes and jewels: but
on my strange behaviour to her (for no cause that she knew of) on Sunday
night, she had torn the paper in two.

I earnestly pressed her to let me be favoured with a sight of this paper,
torn as it was. And, after some hesitation, she withdrew, and sent it to
me by Dorcas.

I perused it again. It was in a manner new to me, though I had read it
so lately: and, by my soul, I could hardly stand it. An hundred
admirable creatures I called her to myself. But I charge thee, write not
a word to me in her favour, if thou meanest her well; for, if I spare
her, it must be all ex mero motu.

You may easily suppose, when I was re-admitted to her presence, that I
ran over in her praises, and in vows of gratitude, and everlasting love.
But here's the devil; she still receives all I say with reserve; or if
it be not with reserve, she receives it so much as her due, that she is
not at all raised by it. Some women are undone by praise, by flattery.
I myself, a man, am proud of praise. Perhaps thou wilt say, that those
are most proud of it who least deserve it; as those are of riches and
grandeur who are not born to either. I own, that to be superior to these
foibles, it requires a soul. Have I not then a soul?--Surely, I have.--
Let me then be considered as an exception to the rule.

Now have I foundation to go upon in my terms. My Lord, in the exuberance
of his generosity, mentions a thousand pounds a year penny-rents. This I
know, that were I to marry this lady, he would rather settle upon her all
he has a mind to settle, than upon me. He has event threatened, that if
I prove not a good husband to her, he will leave all he can at his death
from me to her. Yet considers no