o agree to all he wishes; but
I have told him not to speak of our reconciliation to anyone, for fear it
should make some lords uneasy. At last I shall take him everywhere I
wish.... Alas! I have never deceived anyone; but what would I not do to
please you? Command, and whatever happens, I shall obey. But see
yourself if one could not contrive some secret means in the shape of a
remedy. He must purge himself at Craigmiller and take baths there; he
will be some days without going out. So far as I can see, he is very
uneasy; but he has great trust in what I tell him: however, his
confidence does not go so far as to allow him to open his mind to me. If
you like, I will tell him every thing: I can have no pleasure in
deceiving someone who is trusting. However, it will be just as you wish:
do not esteem me the less for that. It is you advised it; never would
vengeance have taken me so far. Sometimes he attacks me in a very
sensitive place, and he touches me to the quick when he tells me that his
crimes are known, but that every day greater ones are committed that one
uselessly attempts to hide, since all crimes, whatsoever they be, great
or small, come to men's knowledge and form the common subject of their
discourse. He adds sometimes, in speaking to me of Madame de Rere, 'I
wish her services may do you honour.' He has assured me that many people
thought, and that he thought himself, that I was not my own mistress;
this is doubtless because I had rejected the conditions he offered me.
Finally, it is certain that he is very uneasy about you know what, and
that he even suspects that his life is aimed at. He is in despair
whenever the conversation turns on you, Livingston, and my brother.
However, he says neither good nor ill of absent people; but, on the
contrary, he always avoids speaking of them. His father keeps to the
house: I have not seen him yet. A number of the Hamiltons are here, and
accompany me everywhere; all the friends of the other one follow me each
time I go to see him. He has begged me to be at his rising to-morrow.
My messenger will tell you the rest.

"Burn my letter: there would be danger in keeping it. Besides, it is
hardly worth the trouble, being filled only with dark thoughts.

"As for you, do not be offended if I am sad and uneasy to-day, that to
please you I rise above honour, remorse, and dangers. Do not take in bad
part what I tell you, and do not listen to the malicious explanation