ould find fault on the slightest
provocation. She hardly had a word to say to any of us, and cried almost
incessantly. I could hardly understand the reason for such grief, seeing
that the Emperor had died so many years previously. None of the Court
ladies were allowed to dress in light-coloured gowns during the whole of
the seventh moon. We all dressed either in dark blue or pale blue, while
Her Majesty herself dressed in black every day without exception. Even
her handkerchiefs were black. The theatres which were usually opened on
the first and fifteenth of each month, were closed during the seventh
moon. There was no music, and everything was conducted in the most
solemn manner; in fact, the whole Court was in deep mourning.

On the morning of the seventeenth day of the seventh moon, Her Majesty
visited the late Emperor's tablet, and knelt there crying for quite a
while. In order to show respect for the late Emperor, none of us were
allowed to eat meat for three days. This being my first year at the
Palace, it appeared to me very strange, after the customary gaiety and
noise. Of course I felt very sorry for Her Majesty, as I could see that
it was a genuine display of grief and was not in any way put on. As I
was her favorite at that time, she kept me close to her side during this
sad period. The Young Empress said to me one day: "Her Majesty is very
much attached to you, and I think you had better stay with her for the
time being." This I did, and I was so miserable myself that when Her
Majesty commenced crying I would cry also. When she saw that I was
crying, Her Majesty would immediately stop and ask me not to cry. She
would tell me that I was too young to cry, and that in any case I did
not know what real sorrow was as yet. During the conversations we had at
that time she would tell me quite a lot about herself. On one occasion
she said: "You know I have had a very hard life ever since I was a
young girl. I was not a bit happy when with my parents, as I was not the
favorite. My sisters had everything they wanted, while I was, to a great
extent, ignored altogether. When I first came to the Court, a lot of
the people were jealous of me because I was considered to be a beautiful
woman at that time. I must say myself that I was a clever one, for I
fought my own battles, and won them, too. When I arrived at Court the
late Emperor became very much attached to me and would hardly glance at
any of the other ladies. Fortunat