this remark Her Majesty commenced crying afresh.
Continuing, she said: "People seem to think that just because I am the
Empress Dowager that I am bound to be happy, but what I have just
told you is not all. I have gone through much more than that. If ever
anything went wrong, I was always the one who was blamed. The censors
even dare to impeach me once in a while. However, I am philosopher
enough to take things for what they are worth, otherwise I would have
been in my own grave long, long ago. Just imagine how small minded these
people are. Amongst other things they objected to my transferring my
Court to the Summer Palace during the hot weather, although I could do
no harm by being there. Even in the short time you have spent at Court,
you can see that I am unable to decide anything alone, while whenever
they want anything they consult with each other and then present their
petition to me, which, unless it is something of a very serious nature,
I never think of refusing."

After the time set apart for mourning had expired, we all went back
to the Summer Palace, where Miss Carl re-commenced her work on Her
Majesty's portrait. Her Majesty apparently soon got tired of this
portrait painting, for one day she asked me when I thought it would be
finished. She was afraid that it would not be finished by the time the
cold weather came on, when we always removed the Court to the Forbidden
City, and she said it would be a lot of trouble and inconvenience to
have to continue the portrait there. I told Her Majesty that it could
easily be arranged and that she need not worry herself.

After I had been posing in Her Majesty's place for several days Her
Majesty asked me whether Miss Carl had said anything about it, and if
she did, I was to inform her that it was a command from Her Majesty, and
that I dare not make any further suggestions in that respect. So we had
no further trouble with Miss Carl after that. I had, however, quite
a lot of trouble with the eunuchs, who, in spite of Her Majesty's
instructions, were anything but polite to Miss Carl. Of course Miss
Carl herself did not know this. I tried to make them behave better by
threatening to tell Her Majesty about them, which had a good effect for
a while, but they were soon as bad as ever.

At the commencement of the eighth moon, Her Majesty always attended to
the transplanting of her chrysanthemums, which was one of her favorite
flowers, so each day she would take us with h