but his rooted conviction seemed to be that the reason of a child's
existence was to serve as a butt for senseless adult jokes--or what,
from the accompanying guffaws of laughter, appeared to be intended for
jokes. Now, we were anxious that he should have a perfectly fair trial;
so in the tool-house, between breakfast and lessons, we discussed and
examined all his witticisms one by one, calmly, critically,
dispassionately. It was no good: we could not discover any salt in them.
And as only a genuine gift of humour could have saved Uncle Thomas--for
he pretended to naught besides--he was reluctantly writ down a hopeless
impostor.

Uncle George--the youngest--was distinctly more promising. He
accompanied us cheerily round the establishment--suffered himself to be
introduced to each of the cows--held out the right hand of fellowship to
the pig--and even hinted that a pair of pink-eyed Himalayan rabbits
might arrive--unexpectedly--from town some day. We were just considering
whether in this fertile soil an apparently accidental remark on the
solid qualities of guinea-pigs or ferrets might haply blossom and bring
forth fruit, when our governess appeared on the scene. Uncle George's
manner at once underwent a complete and contemptible change. His
interest in rational topics seemed, 'like a fountain's sickening pulse,'
to flag and ebb away; and though Miss Smedley's ostensible purpose was
to take Selina for her usual walk. I can vouch for it that Selina spent
her morning ratting, along with the keeper's boy and me; while if Miss
Smedley walked with any one, it would appear to have been with Uncle
George.

But, despicable as his conduct had been, he underwent no hasty
condemnation. The defection was discussed in all its bearings, but it
seemed sadly clear at last that this uncle must possess some innate
badness of character and fondness for low company. We who from daily
experience knew Miss Smedley like a book--were we not only too well
aware that she had neither accomplishments nor charms--no
characteristic, in fact, but an inbred viciousness of temper and
disposition? True, she knew the dates of the English kings by heart; but
how could that profit Uncle George, who, having passed into the army,
had ascended beyond the need of useful information? Our bows and arrows,
on the other hand, had been freely placed at his disposal; and a soldier
should not have hesitated in his choice a moment. No: Uncle George had
fallen from