had been betrayed, or that his secret had
leaked out, and, without a moment's hesitation, declared the real Simon
Pure sound in lungs and limb.

I am afraid I have drifted a little bit from Marshal Vaillant's comical
interviews, but am coming back to them in a roundabout way. The common,
or garden trick to get those young fellows exempted, where bribery was
impossible or private influence out of the question, was to make them
sham short-sightedness, or deafness, or impediment in the speech. We
have heard before now of professors who cure people of stammering: it is
a well-known fact that in those days there was a professor who taught
people to stammer; while, personally, I know an optician on the
Boulevard des Italians whose father made a not inconsiderable fortune by
spoiling young fellows' sights--that is, by training them, for a
twelvemonth before the drawing of lots, to wear very powerful lenses. Of
course, this had to be done gradually, and his fee was a thousand
francs. I have known him to have as many as twenty or thirty pupils at a
time. No doubt the authorities were perfectly aware of this, but they
had no power to interfere. The process for "teaching deafness" was even
a more complicated one, but it did succeed for a time in imposing upon
the experts, until, by a ministerial decree, it was resolved to draft
all these clever stammerers, and even those who were really suffering
from the complaints the others simulated, into the transport and medical
services.

It was then that Marshal Vaillant was overwhelmed with visits from
anxious matrons who wanted to save their sons, and that the comical
interviews took place.

"But, excellency, my son is really as deaf as a post," one would
exclaim.

"All the better, madame: he won't be frightened at the first sound of
serious firing. Nearly all young recruits are terror-stricken at the
first whizzing of the bullets around them. I was, myself, I assure you.
He'll make an admirable soldier."

"But he won't be able to hear the word of command."

"Not necessary, madame; he'll only have to watch the others, and do as
they do. Besides, we'll draft him into the cavalry: it is really the
charger that obeys the signals, not the trooper. It will be an advantage
to him to be deaf in the barrack-room, for there are many things said
there that would bring a blush to his nice innocent cheeks; and, upon
the whole, it is best he should not hear them. I have the honour to wish
yo