my work and my wife to think of.

Some day soon when the sharpness passes off (if it does) I must try to
write some more of what he was: he was so little understood. I don't
suppose any one knew him better than I did. But just now it is difficult
to think of him. For you I do mourn indeed, and admire your courage: the
loss is terrible. I have no portrait of him. Is there one? If so please
let me have it: if it has to be copied please let it be.

Henley seems to have been as good to dear Walter as he is to all. That
introduction was a good turn I did to both. It seems so strange for a
friendship to begin all these years ago with so much mirth and now to
end with this sorrow. Our little lives are moments in the wake of the
eternal silence: but how crowded while they last. His has gone down in
peace.

I was not certainly the best companion for Walter, but I do believe I
was the best he had. In these early days he was not fortunate in
friends--looking back I see most clearly how much we both wanted a man
of riper wisdom. We had no religion between the pair of us--that was the
flaw. How very different was our last intimacy in Gladstone Terrace. But
youth must learn--looking back over these wasted opportunities, I must
try rather to remember what I did right, than to bewail the much that I
left undone and knew not how to do. I see that even you have allowed
yourself to have regrets. Dear Miss Ferrier, sure you were his angel. We
all had something to be glad of, in so far as we had understood and
loved and perhaps a little helped the gentle spirit; but you may
certainly be proud. He always loved you; and I remember in his worst
days spoke of you with great affection; a thing unusual with him; for he
was walking very wild and blind and had no true idea whether of himself
or life. The lifting afterwards was beautiful and touching. Dear Miss
Ferrier I have given your kind messages to my wife who feels for you and
reciprocates the hope to meet. When it may come off I know not. I feel
almost ashamed to say that I keep better, I feel as if like Mrs. Leslie
"you must hate me for it"--still I can very easily throw back whether by
fatigue or want of care, and I do not like to build plans for my return
to my own land. Is there no chance of your coming hereabouts? Though we
cannot in our small and disorderly house offer a lady a room, one can be
got close by and we can offer possible board and a most lovely little
garden for a lounge.