you?

PHILIP. To show your face here, after practically eloping with my
wife!

SIR WILFRID. [_Affecting ignorance._] When were you married?

PHILIP. We are as good as married.

SIR WILFRID. Oh, pooh, pooh! You can't tell me that grace before soup
is as good as a dinner! [_He takes out his cigar-case and, in the
absence of a match, enjoys a smokeless smoke._

PHILIP. Sir--I--demand--

SIR WILFRID. [_Calmly carrying the situation._] Mrs. Karslake is _not_
married. _That's_ why I'm here. I am here for the same purpose _you_
are; to ask Mrs. Karslake to be my wife.

PHILIP. Are you in your senses?

SIR WILFRID. [_Pricking his American cousin's pet vanity._] Come,
come, Judge--you Americans have no sense of humour. [_Taking a small
jewel-case from his pocket._] There's my regards for the lady--and
[_Reasonably._], if I must go, I will. Of course, I would like to see
her, but--if it isn't your American custom--

THOMAS. [_Opens the door and announces._] Mr. Karslake.

SIR WILFRID. Oh, well, I say; if he can come, I can!

JOHN KARSLAKE, _in evening dress, comes in quickly, carrying
a large and very smart bride's bouquet, which he hands to_
PHILIP, _who stands transfixed. Because it never occurs to
him to refuse it or chuck it away_, PHILIP _accepts the
bouquet gingerly, but frees himself of it at the first
available moment._ JOHN _walks to the centre of the room.
Deep down he is feeling wounded and unhappy. But, as he knows
his coming to the ceremony on whatever pretext is a social
outrage, he carries it off by assuming an air of its being
the most natural thing in the world. He controls the
expression of his deeper emotion, but the pressure of this
keeps his face grave, and he speaks with effort._

JOHN. My compliments to the bride, Judge.

PHILIP. [_Angry._] And you, too, have the effrontery?

SIR WILFRID. There you are!

JOHN. [_Pretending ease._] Oh, call it friendship--

[THOMAS _leaves._

PHILIP. [_Puts bouquet on table. Ironically._] I suppose Mrs.
Karslake--

JOHN. She wagered me I wouldn't give her away, and of course--

_Throughout his stay_ JOHN _hides the emotions he will not
show behind a daring irony. Under its effects_, PHILIP, _on
his right, walks about in a fury._ SIR WILFRID, _sitting down
on the edge of the table, is gay and undisturbed._

PHILIP. [_Taking a step toward_ JOHN.] You will oblige me--both of