llo, Central! Give me the present time, 1906,
New York!"

SIR WILFRID. Of course you do, and--there you are!

PHILIP. [_Heavily._] There I am not, sir! And-- [_To_ JOHN.] as for Mr.
Karslake's ill-timed jocosity,--sir, in the future--

SIR WILFRID. Oh, hang the future!

PHILIP. I begin to hope, Sir Wilfrid, that in the future I shall have
the pleasure of hanging you! [_To_ JOHN.] And as to you, sir, your
insensate idea of giving away your own--your former--my--your--oh!
Good Lord! This is a nightmare! [_He turns to go in despair._ MATTHEW,
_coming in, meets him, and stops him at the door._

MATTHEW. [_To_ PHILIP.] My dear brother, Aunt Sarah Heneage refuses to
give Mrs. Karslake away, unless you yourself,--eh--

PHILIP. [_As he goes out._] No more! I'll attend to the matter! [_The_
CHOIR BOYS _are heard practising in the next room._

MATTHEW. [_Mopping his brow._] How do you both do? My aunt has made me
very warm. [_Ringing the bell._] You hear our choir practising--sweet
angel boys! H'm! H'm! Some of the family will not be present. I am
very fond of you, Mr. Karslake, and I think it admirably Christian of
you to have waived your--eh--your--eh--that is, now that I look at it
more narrowly, let me say, that in the excitement of pleasurable
anticipation, I forgot, Karslake, that your presence might occasion
remark-- [THOMAS _responds to his ring._] Thomas! I left, in the hall,
a small hand-bag or satchel containing my surplice.

THOMAS. Yes, sir. Ahem!

MATTHEW. You must really find the hand-bag at once.

[THOMAS _turns to go, when he stops startled._

THOMAS. Yes, sir. [_Announcing in consternation._] Mrs. Vida
Phillimore. [VIDA PHILLIMORE, _in full evening dress, steps gently up
to_ MATTHEW.

MATTHEW. [_Always piously serene._] Ah, my dear child! Now this is
just as it should be! That is, eh-- [_He walks to the centre of the
room with her_, VIDA, _the while, pointedly disregarding_ SIR
WILFRID.] That is, when I come to think of it--your presence might be
deemed inauspicious.

VIDA. But, my dear Matthew,--I had to come. [_Aside to him._] I have a
reason for being here.

[THOMAS, _who has left the room, again appears._

MATTHEW. [_With a helpless gesture._] But, my dear child--

THOMAS. [_With sympathetic intention._] Sir, Mr. Phillimore wishes to
have your assistance, sir--with Miss Heneage _immediately_!

MATTHEW. Ah! [_To_ VIDA.] One moment! I'll return. [_To_ THOMAS.] Have