for preaching a sermon on
New Year's Day, from a text mentioned in his will. To Parish Clerk
10s. 6d. to sing 100th Psalm, old version, same day. To organist 10s.
6d. for playing tune to same. To Sexton 10s. 6d. if he attend the
same; and to master and mistress of the free-school, each 10s. 6d. for
attending the charity children at the same time and place; and to the
Trustees of the school three guineas for refreshments, and to supply
as many quartern loaves to be distributed to such poor as shall attend
divine service on that day. The overplus, if any, to be given in bread
to the poor of the parish that the trustees may consider proper
objects of relief.

JAC-CO.

* * * * *

WIT AND JOKES.

Selden says, "Nature must be the ground work of wit and art, otherwise
whatever is done will prove but Jack-pudding's work.

"Wit must grow like fingers; if it be taken from others, 'tis like
plums stuck upon black thorns; they are there for awhile, but they
come to nothing.

"Women ought not to know their own wit, because they will be showing
it, and so spoil it; like a child that will constantly be showing its
fine new coat, till at length it all bedaubs it with its pah hands.

"Fine wits destroy themselves with their own plots in meddling with
great affairs of state. They commonly do as the ape, that saw the
gunner put bullets in the cannon, and was pleased with it, and he
would be doing so too; at last he puts himself into the piece, and so
both ape and bullet were shot away together."

"The jokes, bon-mots, the little adventures, which may do very well
(says Chesterfield) in one company will seem flat and tedious when
related in another--they are often ill-timed, and prefaced thus: 'I
will tell you an excellent thing.' This raises expectations, which
when absolutely disappointed, make the relator of this excellent thing
look, very deservedly, like a fool."

P.T.W.

* * * * *

FAT FOLKS.

Prince Harry and Falstaff, in Shakspeare, have carried the ridicule
upon fat and lean as far as it will go. Falstaff is humorously called
_Wool-Sack_, _Bed Presser_, and _Hill of Flesh_; Harry, a
_Starveling_, an _Eel's-skin_, a _Sheath_, a _Bow-case_, and a _Tuck_.

* * * * *

_Printed and published by J. LIMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset
House,) London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic;
and by all News