had
fallen asleep he had fancied himself to be a carpenter, and had sawed
and chopped up several articles of furniture in the house.

I quitted my sister to see my father, whom I found in his easy-chair. I
was much shocked at his appearance. He was thin and haggard, his eye was
wild, and he remained with his mouth constantly open. A sick-nurse, who
had been hired by my sister, was standing by him.

"Pish, pish, pish, pish!" cried my father; "what can you, a stupid old
woman, know about my inside? I tell you the gas is generating fast, and
even now I can hardly keep on my chair. I'm lifting--lifting now; and if
you don't tie me down with cords, I shall go up like a balloon."

"Indeed, sir," replied the woman, "it's only the wind in your stomach.
You'll break it off directly."

"It's inflammable gas, you old Hecate!--I know it is. Tell me, will you
get a cord, or will you not? Hah! who's that--Peter? Why you've dropped
from the clouds, just in time to see me mount up to them."

"I hope you feel yourself better, sir," said I.

"I feel myself a great deal lighter every minute. Get a cord, Peter, and
tie me to the leg of the table."

I tried to persuade him that he was under a mistake; but it was useless.
He became excessively violent, and said I wished him in heaven. As I had
heard that it was better to humour people afflicted with
hypochondriacism, which was evidently the disease under which my father
laboured, I tried that method. "It appears to me, sir," said I, "that if
we could remove the gas every ten minutes, it would be a good plan."

"Yes--but how?" replied he, shaking his head mournfully.

"Why, with a syringe, sir," said I; "which will, if empty, of course
draw out the gas, when inserted into your mouth."

"My dear Peter, you have saved my life: be quick, though, or I shall go
up, right through the ceiling."

Fortunately, there was an instrument of that description in the house. I
applied it to his mouth, drew up the piston, and then ejected the air,
and re-applied it. In two minutes he pronounced himself better, and I
left the old nurse hard at work, and my father very considerably
pacified. I returned to my sister, to whom I recounted what had passed;
but it was no source of mirth to us, although, had it happened to an
indifferent person, I might have been amused. The idea of leaving her,
as I must soon do--having only a fortnight's leave--to be worried by my
father's unfortunate malady, was very d