d one of the
best fellows that ever breathed, told me once he thought the soda
must get into Bessie's legs. But her dresser was positive about her
instructions always to forget the soda. So I don't think it can have
been that.

I remember too--

[For the continuation of this interesting series of reminiscences
see to-morrow's _Evening Cues_.]

* * * * *

A LOST LEADER.

(_OR, THOUGHTS ON TREK._)

The men are marching like the best;
The waggons wind across the lea;
At ten to two we have a rest,
We have a rest at ten to three;
I ride ahead upon my gee
And try to look serene and gay;
The whole battalion follows me,
_And I believe I've lost the way._

Full many a high-class thoroughfare
My erring map does not disclose,
While roads that are not really there
The same elaborately shows;
And whether this is one of those
It needs a clever man to say;
I am not clever, I suppose,
_And I believe I've lost the way._

The soldiers sing about their beer;
The wretched road goes on and on;
There ought to be a turning here,
But if there was the thing has gone;
Like some depressed automaton
I ask at each _estaminet_;
They say, "_Tout droit_," and I say "_Bon_,"
_But I believe I've lost the way._

I dare not tell the trustful men;
They think me wonderful and wise;
But where will be the legend when
They get a shock of such a size?
And what about our brave Allies?
They wanted us to fight to-day;
We were to be a big surprise--
_And I believe I've lost the way._

* * * * *

The Dawn of Peace?

"The Commissioners of H.M. Works, &c., are prepared to
receive tenders for the supply of:

(a) Floor polish during a period of six or 12 months from
1st August, 1917.

(b) Arm chairs."--_Daily Telegraph_.

* * * * *

From an interview with an eminent playwright regarding a new farce:--

"Has my face a war object? Certainly it has, a very
definite though an indirect one."--_Liverpool Echo_.

If it hadn't been so old a joke, we should have guessed that the
author has a strong cast in his eye.

* * * * *

"A Chaplain Wanted, for private chapel in the Highlands. There
is plenty of stalking for a good shot, also there is fishing,
s