table with the tin-openers.

ERROR. I'm afraid that's against the regulations. Put it in the oven and
shut the door.

[TEREBUS does so. Later, terrific explosion, followed by strong smell of
spinach.

VOICES. What's the matter? Terebus in eruption!

TEREBUS [wiping spinach off his face]. Nothing wrong. Only a tin of
spinach opened automatically.

ERROR. It's plastered all over the oven and on everything.

TEREBUS. Don't worry, it will be served up with the baked penguin.

[Period of partial quiescence of TEREBUS and ERROR, which is regarded as
an evil omen.

ERROR [in persuasive tone]. Have you made the tea, old boy? It's nearly
half-past six.

[TEREBUS takes off the lid of the tea-boiler, peers inside, making a
scoop with his hand.

ERROR. Here, don't do that. Mind your hands.

TEREBUS. It's all right, it's not hot.

ERROR. What shall we do, then? We'll never keep them quiet if we are
late with the tea.

TEREBUS. Put the tea in now. It will be warmed up by the second course.

[TEREBUS puts the infusers in the pot and stirs them round.

ERROR. Taste it.

[BOTH taste with a dirty spoon.

TEREBUS. Tastes like your soup--'orrible!

ERROR. There's nothing wrong with the soup. You attend to the tea.

TEREBUS. I think we'll have coffee. Pass the coffee and I'll put that in
and bring it to the boil. The coffee will kill the taste of the tea.

ERROR. Hope you make it stronger than that.

[During quiescent stage while each is thinking of a retort, 6.30 P.M.
arrives, and the soup is put on the table. Interval elapses during which
the victims are expected to eat the soup.

VOICES [in loud chant from the table]. How did you do it, Error?

TEREBUS [after a suitable period]. Any one like any more soup?

A VOICE. Couldn't risk it, Governor. TEREBUS. Bowls up! Lick spoons!

[Bowls are cleared away and baked penguin is put on the table.

ERROR. Cooks have got their penguin, gentlemen.

[Suspicious glances exchanged at table. Later, monotonous chant goes up,
preceded by a soft "One, two, three." "Didn't scrape the blubber off,
Error."

[Plates cleared away and scraped into dogs' bucket. ERROR takes tapioca
custard from oven in two dishes.

ERROR [aside to TEREBUS]. Take some out of this one for us and don't
forget to put that dish in front of the Doctor, because I spilled soda
in the other.

[TEREBUS takes two large helpings out and puts rest on table as
directed.

TEREBUS. You need not remember