SS. [Doubtfully] You mean we're--we're----

LORD W. No, really. You have such a d---d hard time. It must be
perfectly beastly to interview fellows like me.

PRESS. Oh! Not at all, Lord William. Not at all. I assure you
compared with a literary man, it's--it's almost heavenly.

LORD W. You must have a wonderful knowledge of things.

PRESS. [Bridling a little] Well--I shouldn't say that.

LORD W. I don't see how you can avoid it. You turn your hands to
everything.

PRESS. [Modestly] Well--yes, Yes.

LORD W. I say: Is there really going to be a revolution, or are you
making it up, you Press?

PRESS. We don't know. We never know whether we come before the
event, or it comes before us.

LORD W. That's--very deep--very dip. D'you mind lending me your
note-book a moment. I'd like to stick that down. All right, I'll
use the other end. [THE PRESS hands it hypnotically.]

LORD W. [Jotting] Thanks awfully. Now what's your real opinion of
the situation?

PRESS. As a man or a Press man?

LORD W. Is there any difference?

PRESS. Is there any connection?

LORD W. Well, as a man.

PRESS. As a man, I think it's rotten.

LORD W. [Jotting] "Rotten." And as a pressman?

PRESS. [Smiling] Prime.

LORD W. What! Like a Stilton cheese. Ha, ha!

[He is about to write.]

PRESS. My stunt, Lord William. You said that.

[He jots it on his cuff.]

LORD W. But look here! Would you say that a strong press movement
would help to quiet the country?

PRESS. Well, as you ask me, Lord William, I'll tell you. No
newspapers for a month would do the trick.

LORD W. [Jotting] By Jove! That's brilliant.

PRESS. Yes, but I should starve. [He suddenly looks up, and his
eyes, like gimlets, bore their way into LORD WILLIAM'S pleasant,
troubled face] Lord William, you could do me a real kindness.
Authorise me to go and interview the fellow who left the bomb here;
I've got his address. I promise you to do it most discreetly. Fact
is--well--I'm in low water. Since the war we simply can't get
sensation enough for the new taste. Now, if I could have an article
headed: "Bombed and Bomber"--sort of double interview, you know, it'd
very likely set me on my legs again. [Very earnestly] Look!
[He holds out his frayed wristbands.]

LORD W. [Grasping his hand] My dear chap, certainly. Go and
interview this blighter, and then bring him round here. You can do
that for one.