t wife in all
Europe,--young, charming, a veritable picture. You might have seen to it
that she was not poisoned; in that case you would not now be a widower.
As it is not likely that I should ever come to terms with your
favourites, I shall never be anything else to you but a cousin, and I
shall endeavour not to die until the proper time; that is, when it shall
please God to take me. You can repeat this speech, word for word, to your
precious Marquis d'Effiat and Messieurs de Remecourt and de Lorraine.
They have no access to my kitchens; I am not afraid of them."

This answer amused the King not a little, and he said to me: "I was told
that the Palatine of Bavaria's daughter is extremely ugly and ill-bred;
consequently, she is capable of keeping Monsieur in check. Through one
of my Rhenish allies, I will make proposals to her father for her hand.
As soon as a reply comes, I will show my brother a portrait of some sort;
it will be all the same to him; he will accept her."

Soon afterwards this marriage took place. Charlotte Elizabeth of
Bavaria, though aware of the sort of death that her predecessor died,
agreed to marry Monsieur. Had she not been lucky enough to make this
grand match, her extreme ugliness would assuredly have doomed her to
celibacy, even in Bavaria and in Germany. It is surely not allowable to
come into the world with such a face and form, such a voice, such eyes,
such hands, and such feet, as this singular princess displayed. The
Court, still mindful of the sweetness, grace, and charm of Henrietta of
England, could not contemplate without horror and disgust the fearful
caricature I have just described. Young pregnant women--after the
Queen's unfortunate experience--were afraid to look at the Princess
Palatine, and wished to be confined before they reappeared at Court.

As for herself, armed with robust, philosophical notions, and a complete
set of Northern nerves, she was in no way disconcerted at the effect her
presence produced. She even had the good sense to appear indifferent to
all the raillery she provoked, and said to the King:

"Sire, to my mind you are one of the handsomest men in the world, and
with few exceptions, your Court appears to me perfectly fitted for you. I
have come but scantily equipped to such an assemblage. Fortunately, I am
neither jealous nor a coquette, and I shall win pardon for my plainness,
I myself being the first to make merry at it."

"You put us completel