evealed; for he is, as it were, a
second self. But if we find these two instincts shewing themselves in
animals,--whether of the air or the sea or the land, whether wild or
tame,--first, a love of self, which in fact is born in everything that
lives alike; and, secondly, an eagerness to find and attach themselves
to other creatures of their own kind; and if this natural action is
accompanied by desire and by something resembling human love, how much
more must this be the case in man by the law of his nature? For man not
only loves himself, but seeks another whose spirit he may so blend with
his own as almost to make one being of two.

22. But most people unreasonably, not to speak of modesty, want such
a friend as they are unable to be themselves, and expect from their
friends what they do not themselves give. The fair course is first to be
good yourself, and then to look out for another of like character. It
is between such that the stability in friendship of which we have been
talking can be secured; when, that is to say, men who are united by
affection learn, first of all, to rule those passions which enslave
others, and in the next place to take delight in fair and equitable
conduct, to bear each other's burdens, never to ask each other for
anything inconsistent with virtue and rectitude, and not only to serve
and love but also to respect each other. I say "respect"; for if respect
is gone, friendship has lost its brightest jewel. And this shows the
mistake of those who imagine that friendship gives a privilege to
licentiousness and sin. Nature has given us friendship as the handmaid
of virtue, not as a partner in guilt: to the end that virtue, being
powerless when isolated to reach the highest objects, might succeed in
doing so in union and partnership with another. Those who enjoy in the
present, or have enjoyed in the past, or are destined to enjoy in the
future such a partnership as this, must be considered to have secured
the most excellent and auspicious combination for reaching nature's
highest good. This is the partnership, I say, which combines moral
rectitude, fame, peace of mind, serenity: all that men think desirable
because with them life is happy, but without them cannot be so. This
being our best and highest object, we must, if we desire to attain it,
devote ourselves to virtue; for without virtue we can obtain neither
friendship nor anything else desirable. In fact, if virtue be neglected,
those who