lace, as often happens, or if party politics produces an
alienation of feeling (I am now speaking, as I said a short time ago, of
ordinary friendships, not of those of the wise), we shall have to be on
our guard against appearing to embark upon active enmity while we only
mean to resign a friendship. For there can be nothing more discreditable
than to be at open war with a man with whom you have been intimate.
Scipio, as you are aware, had abandoned his friendship for Quintus
Pompeius on my account; and again, from differences of opinion in
politics, he became estranged from my colleague Metellus. In both cases
he acted with dignity and moderation, shewing that he was offended
indeed, but without Tancour.

Our first object, then, should be to prevent a breach; our second, to
secure that, if it does occur, our friendship should seem to have died
a natural rather than a violent death. Next, we should take care that
friendship is not converted into active hostility, from which flow
personal quarrels, abusive language, and angry recriminations. These
last, however, provided that they do not pass all reasonable limits
of forbearance, we ought to put up with, and, in compliment to an old
friendship, allow the party that inflicts the injury, not the one that
submits to it, to be in the wrong. Generally speaking, there is but one
way of securing and providing oneself against faults and inconveniences
of this sort--not to be too hasty in bestowing our affection, and not to
bestow it at all on unworthy objects.

Now, by "worthy of friendship" I mean those who have in themselves the
qualities which attract affection. This sort of man is rare; and indeed
all excellent things are rare; and nothing in the world is so hard to
find as a thing entirely and completely perfect of its kind. But most
people not only recognize nothing as good in our life unless it is
profitable, but look upon friends as so much stock, caring most for
those by whom they hope to make most profit. Accordingly they never
possess that most beautiful and most spontaneous friendship which must
be sought solely for itself without any ulterior object. They fail
also to learn from their own feelings the nature and the strength of
friendship. For every one loves himself, not for any reward which such
love may bring, but because he is dear to himself independently of
anything else. But unless this feeling is transferred to another, what
a real friend is will never be r