that carried the most
exhilarating kick imaginable.

I liked those toddies. I grew to look forward to the making of them. We
drank them regularly, one before breakfast, one before dinner, one before
supper, and a final one when we went to bed. We never got drunk. But I
will say that four times a day we were very genial. And when, in the
middle of the cruise, Toddy was called back to San Francisco on business,
Cloudesley and I saw to it that the Korean boy mixed toddies regularly
for us according to formula.

But that was only on the boat. Back on the land, in my house, I took no
before breakfast eye-opener, no bed-going nightcap. And I haven't drunk
hot toddies since, and that was many a year ago. But the point is, I
LIKED those toddies. The geniality of which they were provocative was
marvellous. They were eloquent proselyters for John Barleycorn in their
own small insidious way. They were tickles of the something destined to
grow into daily and deadly desire. And I didn't know, never dreamed--I,
who had lived with John Barleycorn for so many years and laughed at all
his unavailing attempts to win me.

CHAPTER XXX

Part of the process of recovering from my long sickness was to find
delight in little things, in things unconnected with books and problems,
in play, in games of tag in the swimming pool, in flying kites, in
fooling with horses, in working out mechanical puzzles. As a result, I
grew tired of the city. On the ranch, in the Valley of the Moon, I found
my paradise. I gave up living in cities. All the cities held for me
were music, the theatre, and Turkish baths.

And all went well with me. I worked hard, played hard, and was very
happy. I read more fiction and less fact. I did not study a tithe as
much as I had studied in the past. I still took an interest in the
fundamental problems of existence, but it was a very cautious interest;
for I had burned my fingers that time I clutched at the veils of Truth
and wrested them from her. There was a bit of lie in this attitude of
mine, a bit of hypocrisy; but the lie and the hypocrisy were those of a
man desiring to live. I deliberately blinded myself to what I took to be
the savage interpretation of biological fact. After all, I was merely
forswearing a bad habit, forgoing a bad frame of mind. And I repeat, I
was very happy. And I add, that in all my days, measuring them with
cold, considerative judgment, this was, far and away be