_ doing.

MRS. DERMOTT. I really think, Oliver, that you, as the eldest, ought to
set a little better example. And the marmalade--thank you. After all,
considering how good he's been to us, we might allow him to have a
little joke without becoming disagreeable--even if it doesn't amuse us
very much. Why, I----

JOYCE. But, mother, I tell you it isn't a joke--it's the gospel truth.

MRS. DERMOTT. I've never known such a set of maddening children. Pass me
the paper, will you, Sylvia? I wish to read it.

(SYLVIA _hands her newspaper from window seat and she opens it out
and reads it, ignoring the family altogether. Telegraph--with extra
pages inserted._)

OLIVER (_breaking the silence_). Has any one seen my tennis racquet?

JOYCE. Bobbie had it yesterday.

BOBBIE. No, I didn't.

JOYCE. Yes, you did, you and Faith--I saw you.

OLIVER. Well, where is it now?

SYLVIA (_ruminatively_). I did see a racquet behind the summer house
this morning. Would that be it?

OLIVER (_furiously_). Look here, Bobbie, if you go leaving my racquet
out all night again I'll punch your head....

BOBBIE (_rising, flaring up_). I tell you I never touched your damned
racquet--I've got one of my own. (_Knocks his chair over._)

JOYCE. A jolly rotten one, though.

BOBBIE. Shut up, Joyce, and mind your own business.

EVANGELINE. Don't speak to Joyce like that, Bobbie. You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

BOBBIE. I'll speak how I like.

OLIVER (_rising_). Not while I'm here, you won't.

BOBBIE (_jeeringly_). Come on, oh strong and silent elder brother, let's
be manly and knock one another about.

OLIVER. A little more of that would do you a lot of good.

BOBBIE. Well, you'd better not try it.

(OLIVER _knocks a plate on to the floor, breaking it._)

There, that's what happens when you let elephants loose in the house.
(_Picks up his chair._)

(_During this_, MRS. DERMOTT _does comic business with newspaper,
repeatedly dropping sheets and attempting to fold the paper._)

MRS. DERMOTT. Oliver, if you and Bobbie can't stop quarrelling you'd
better both leave the table. I can't think what's the matter with you
all. Just because Uncle Daniel chose to have a little fun with you, you
all behave like bears with sore heads.

(BOBBIE _and_ OLIVER _re-sit and continue eating._)

EVANGELINE. Uncle Daniel meant every word he said, mother. He hasn't got
a penny in the world.

MRS. DERMOTT. Nonsense, Evangeline. How do you suppose he