n at all. She was something to be won, something playing an
inferior and retreating part. And I was artificial in all my attitudes
to her, I thought of what would interest her, what would please her, I
knew from the outset that what she saw in me to rouse that deep, shy
glow of exaltation in her face was illusion, illusion it was my business
to sustain. And so I won her, and long years had to pass, years of
secret loneliness and hidden feelings, of preposterous pretences and
covert perplexities, before we escaped from that crippling tradition of
inequality and looked into one another's eyes with understanding and
forgiveness, a woman and a man.

I made no great secret of the interest and attraction I found in Rachel,
and the Mores made none of their entire approval of me. I walked over on
the second occasion, and Ridinghanger opened out, a great flower of
genial appreciation that I came alone, hiding nothing of its dawning
perception that it was Rachel in particular I came to see.

Your grandmother's match-making was as honest as the day. There was the
same salad of family and visitors as on the former afternoon, and this
time I met Freshman, who was destined to marry Alice; there was tea,
tennis, and, by your grandmother's suggestion, a walk to see the sunset
from the crest of the hill. Rachel and I walked across the breezy
moorland together, while I talked and tempted her to talk.

What, I wonder, did we talk about? English scenery, I think, and African
scenery and the Weald about us, and the long history of the Weald and
its present and future, and at last even a little of politics. I had
never explored the mind of a girl of seventeen before; there was a
surprise in all she knew and a delight in all she didn't know, and about
herself a candor, a fresh simplicity of outlook that was sweeter than
the clear air about us, sweeter than sunshine or the rising song of a
lark. She believed so gallantly and beautifully, she was so perfectly,
unaffectedly and certainly prepared to be a brave and noble person--if
only life would let her. And she hadn't as yet any suspicion that life
might make that difficult....

I went to Ridinghanger a number of times in the spring and early summer.
I talked a great deal with Rachel, and still I did not make love to her.
It was always in my mind that I would make love to her, the heavens and
earth and all her family were propitious, glowing golden with consent
and approval, I thought she w