every circumstance that ought to come under my
consideration (at least as much for her sake as for my own) I am
compelled to say that I find the obstacles to it decisive and
insurmountable.[439]

Auckland had a right to feel the deepest pain at this official missive.
The matter had been discussed in newspapers. Indeed, a caricaturist
ventured to publish a sketch showing Pitt as Adam conducting Eve to the
nuptial bower in the garden of Eden, while behind it squatted Satan as a
toad, leering hatred through the features of Fox. It is to be hoped that
Auckland did not know of this indelicate cartoon when he replied to
Pitt. That letter has very properly been destroyed. But we have Pitt's
second letter to Auckland, in which he again assures him how deeply he
is affected by hearing of "the sentiments of another person, unhappily
too nearly interested in the subject in question." He adds these moving
words: "Believe me, I have not lightly or easily sacrificed my best
hopes and earnest wishes to my conviction and judgment." Auckland's
reply of 23rd January reveals the grief of his wife and daughter. For
two or three days they remained in absolute solitude, and that, too, in
a household remarkable for domestic affection. To Pitt also the decision
was a matter of deep pain and life-long regret. Thenceforth he trod the
path of duty alone. On 7th February the Archbishop of Canterbury wrote
to Auckland (his brother-in-law) that Pitt lived in seclusion and seemed
dreamy. At a recent Council meeting his face was swollen and unhealthy
looking. Probably this was the time at which Pitt informed Addington
that he must take the helm of State.[440]

We can only conjecture as to the insuperable obstacles to the union; but
it seems highly probable that they were of a financial kind. In the Pitt
MSS. (No. 196) there is a brief Memorandum in Pitt's writing, of the
year 1797, which must refer to his yearly expenses, either at Downing
Street or at Holwood. It gives the liquor account of the steward's room
as "L300 and upwards," and states that the other expenses of that room
might be reduced from L600 to L300, those of his own wardrobe from L600
to L400, and those of the stable from L400 to L300. These figures do not
tally with those of the Downing Street or Holwood accounts for the
latter half of 1797, which will be stated later; and the loose way in
which Pitt estimates his expenses is highly suggestive. We now know that
he was he