uns_, you're done at last;
Here Smiler W----d{16} is laid fast.
No more his _oak_ ye need assail;
He's book'd inside a wooden jail.

BY SMILER W---- OF C---- COLLEGE.
A thing called exquisite rests here:
For human nature's sake I hope,
Without uncharitable trope,
'Twill ne'er among us more appear.

15 William Perkins, alias Baron Perkins, alias the Baron, a
very jovial watchman of Holywell, the New College speedy-
man,{*} and factotum to New College.

16 Mr. W----d, alias Smiler W----d, a commoner of
----. This gentleman is always laughing or smiling; is
long-winded, and consequently pestered with _duns_, who are
sometimes much chagrined by repeated disappointments; but
let them be ever so crusty, he never fails in laughing them
into a good humour before they leave his room.

It was over Smiler's oak in----, that some wag had printed
and stuck up the following notice:

Men traps and spring guns
Set here to catch _duns_.

* A _speedy-man_ at New College is a person employed to take
a letter to the master of Winchester school from the warden
of New College, acquaint-ing him that a fellowship or
scholarship is become vacant in the college, and requiring
him to send forthwith the next senior boy. The speedy-man
always performs his journey on foot, and within a given
time.

~230~~

BY LILLYMAN LIONISE.
Here rests a poet--heaven keep him quiet,
For when above he lived a life of riot;
Enjoy'd his joke, and drank his share of wine--
A mad wag he, one Horace Eglantine.{17}

The good old orthodox beverage now began to display its potent effects
upon the heads and understandings of the party. All restraint being
completely banished by the effect of the liquor, every one indulged
in their characteristic eccentricities. Dick Gradus pleaded his utter
incapability to sing or produce an impromptu rhyme, but was allowed to
substitute a prose epitaph on the renowned school-master of Magdalen
parish, Fatty T--b,{18} who lay snoring under the table. "It shall be
read over him in lieu of burial service," said Echo. "Agreed, agreed,"
vociferated all the party; and Jemmy

17 This whim of tagging rhymes and epitaphs, adopted by
Horace Eglantine, is of no mean au