ly arranged, than declining
the proffered seat in D'Almaine's travelling carriage, I packed up my
portmanteau, and gave directions to my servant to book me outside at the
Golden Cross, by the seven o'clock morning coach, for Brighton; taking
care to secure the box-seat, by the payment of an extra shilling to the
porter.

An inn-yard, particularly such a well-frequented one as the Golden
Cross, Charing Cross, affords the greatest variety of character and
entertainment to a humorist. Vehicles to all parts of the kingdom, and
from the inscription on the Dover coaches, I might add to all parts of
the world, _via Paris_. "Does that coach go the whole way to France?"
said an ~278~~unsuspecting little piece of female simplicity to me, as
I stood lolling on the steps at the coach-office door. "Certainly,"
replied I, unthinkingly. "O, then I suppose," said the speaker, "they
have finished the projected chain-pier from Dover to Calais." "France
and England united? nothing more impossible," quoth I, correcting
the impression I had unintentionally created. "Are you going by the
Brighton, mam?" "Yes, I be." "Can't _take_ all that luggage." "Then you
sha'n't _take_ me." "Don't wish to be __taken for a waggon-man."
"No, but by Jasus, friend, you are a wag-on-her," said a merry-faced
Hibernian, standing by. "Have you paid down the _dust_, mam?" inquired
the last speaker. "I have paid for my place, sir," said the lady; "and
I shall lose two, if I don't go." "Then by the powers, cookey, you had
better pay for one and a half, and that will include luggage, and then
you'll be a half gainer by the bargain." "What a cursed narrow hole this
is for a decent-sized man to cram himself in at?" muttered an enormous
bulky citizen, sticking half-way in the coach-door, and panting for
breath from the violence of his exertions to drag his hind-quarters
after him. "Take these hampers on the top, Jack," said the porter below
to the man loading the coach, and quietly rested the baskets across the
projecting _ultimatum_ of the fat citizen (to the no little amusement
of the bystanders), who through his legs vociferated, "I'll indict you,
fellows; I'll be----if I don't, under Dick Martin's act." "It must be
then, my jewel," said the waggish Hibernian, "for overloading a mule."
"Do we take _the whole_ of you to-day, sir?" said coachee, assisting to
push him in. "What do you mean by _the whole_? I am only one man."
"A master tailor," said coachee, aside, "he