is no objection.
A pleasing squint, or but one eye,
Will do as well as any;
A mouth between a laugh and cry,
Or wrinkled, as my granny.
A hobbling gait, or a wooden leg,
Or locks of silvery gray;
Or name her Madge, or Poll, or Peg,
She still shall have my lay.
Perfection centres in the mind,
The gen'rous must acknowledge:
Then, Muse, be candid, just, and kind,
To Dames of Eton College.*

* The independent students, commonly called _Oppidans_, are
very numerous: they are boarded at private houses in the
environs of the college; the presiding masters and
mistresses of which have from time immemorial enjoyed the
title of _Domine_ and _Dame_: the average number of
_Oppidans_ is from three hundred to three hundred and fifty.

FIVE PRINCIPAL ORDERS OF ETON

~45~~

PROEM.

Said Truth to the Muse, as they wander'd along,
"Prithee, Muse, spur your Pegasus into a song;
Let the subject be lively,--how like you the Belles?"
Said the Muse, "he's no sportsman that kisses and tells.

But in females delighting, suppose we stop here,
And do you bid the Dames of old Eton appear;
In your mirror their merits, with candour, survey,
And I'll sing their worth in my very best Lay."
No sooner 'twas said, than agreed:--it was done,
Wing'd Mercury summon'd them every one.

MISS A***LO.

First, deck'd in the height of the fashion, a belle,
An angel, ere Chronos had tipt her with snow,
Advanced to the goddess, and said, "you may tell,
That in Eton, there's no better table, you know;"
And by Truth 'twas admitted, "her generous board
Is rich, in whatever the seasons afford."

THE MISS t*****S.

Of ancients, a pair next presented themselves,
When in popp'd some waggish Oxonian elves,
Who spoke of times past, of short commons, and cheese,
And told tales, which did much the old ladies displease.
"Good morning," said Truth, as the dames pass'd him by:
Young stomachs, if stinted, are sure to outcry.

MRS. R******U.

On her _Domine_ leaning came dame B******u,
The oldest in college, deck'd in rich furbelow.

~46~~

She curtsied around to the _Oppidan_ band,
But not one said a word, and but few gave a hand.
Truth whisper'd